Let’s Kick The Day Off With Some Cleavage!

I ask you, is there any better way to start the day off than by checking out some titties? I sincerely doubt it. In this crazy world where so often up is down and wrong is right, there are but a small handful of things that are pure and good. These things include chocolate covered strawberries, kisses from kittens, the artwork of Lisa Frank, and, yes, titties. If I could, I would send you all delicious desserts and precious baby animals and glittery masterpieces, but I can’t. However, I can, and I will, give you titties.

Or, ok, cleavage.

And no, your eyes don’t deceive you! If you picked up the context clues from the photo above, you probably guessed that you’ll be seeing the cleavage of both Snooki and Kim Kardashian. Two of your favorites! Isn’t this your lucky day?

First, there’s Snooki, bearing her pregnancy boobs:

Snooki posted that picture to her Twitter account, along with the caption “I got swagger with my pregnant self.” Sure, Snooks, if by “swagger” you mean “swollen breasts and a low cut shirt.” That’s crazy, right? I’ve heard about the pregnancy boobs, but all the ladies I’ve known with children were pretty well endowed to begin with, and they didn’t really change all that much in that way. I’ve read that women can go up like three cup sizes though during pregnancy, and even a couple more after they give birth, and that just blows my mind.

And now let’s check out Kim Kardashian’s regular old non-pregnant boobs:

Kim also posted this on Twitter, and her caption was “what I would look like with light eyes.” Because she totally wants you to look at her eyes.

I have a few more issues with Kim’s picture than I had with Snooki’s. First off, what’s with the open mouth? I know that it’s a pretty common thing to do in “modelling,”, and sometimes it even looks nice, but there’s a difference between having your lips parted and having your mouth gaping open. One can look sexy, the other looks … well, just check out Kim’s picture one more time. And while you’re up there, be sure and take an extra glance at her cleavage. It looks sloppy, right? And no one likes sloppy cleavage. I know going strapless is harder for busty girls, but I promise, it’s not impossible. Also, Kim, definitely stick to the brown eyes, sister.

And there you go! I assume I’ll get into some more intellectual matters (LOL) later in the day, but for now, let’s take this Saturday morning easy, all right?