Jake Gyllenhaal is Creepy in The Shoes’ New Video

Oh, my God. This might be one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen. No joke, ever – in life. Jake Gyllenhaal slitting girls’ throats with fencing … things? Taking drugs? Smoking cigarettes? Bashing people’s skulls off of bathroom mirrors?

Also, this music just isn’t good. I know there’s probably a lot of people out there who like that double-bass pedal thing with the closed highhats, but frankly, it frightens me. And I guess that’s what this video and this song is supposed to do: inspire fear. Scariest. f-cking. video. ever. It’s like American Psycho meets That 70’s Show. Without all of the pretty colors.

I will never look at Jake Gyllenhaal the same again. Donnie Darko almost killed him for me, but then there was Brokeback Mountain and The Day After Tomorrow – which is seriously, like one of my favorite movies – but there is no redemption from this psychopathic music video appearance.

As for the video, I need some theories. I need an explanation. What’s his trigger here? Is he epileptic? Do the flashing strobes in clubs send him off the edge? Or is it this seizure music? Watching others dance convulsively? Is that what does it? Or maybe if he just did dance, all of his weird, murderous idiosyncrasies would disappear. Is that the moral of the story, Shoes? Is it ‘dance or go crazy and kill randoms instead’? And if so, why does it have to be such a hard choice? Some people just can’t dance, you know.