Jennifer Love Hewitt Got a Magazine Gig!

Woo! You guys know how much I love Jennifer Love Hewitt, right? Because I do. I really, really do. And I’m really, really excited that she’s on the cover of Maxim – again – because even she says that it’s the way she gauges her own hotness. I mean, you do have to be pretty hot to garner the cover of Maxim, am I right? And I’m sure that no one would be offering her the cover if she still looked like this, right?:

Not that there’s anything wrong with it! Because that’s her, and she looked like that not too long ago. And please – don’t think I’m hating on my girl, because I just couldn’t do that to myself (or, you know, her). It’s just plain fact, and there’s definitely some sadditude to it, because even when she was heavier, she was still smoking hot. Sigh. I’m not even going to open this can of worms, I’m just going to let you guys read her charming little interview and look through her super-hot pictures, which are after the jump and in the gallery. Then you tell me how hot girlfriend is no matter what she looks like a certain year out of the decade. I’m digging myself a fine little hole as we speak, so just … go on with it.

This is your fourth time on our cover. Thank you!
I know it is, and I love my Maxim! It’s my scale of how good I look. Whenever you guys call and say it’s time to be on your cover, I’m like, “OK, I’m in good shape.” And when you don’t call, I’m like, “I guess I should hit the gym.”

Your new Lifetime series, The Client List, sounds pretty sexy. Tell us about your character.
I play an all-American Texas mom who is a former beauty pageant queen. She and her husband and two kids have fallen on very hard times, so she’s forced to become a “working mom,” whose expertise is keeping her clients happy. We’ll just say it that way.

You’re a big proponent of “vagazzaling.” Can you explain what that is?
Vagazzaling is where you stick Swarovski crystals on the female area to add a little glitz and glamour. I actually named it that because it’s like BeDazzling for your hoo-ha.

Well, it’s a very descriptive term.
The fun part of being a girl is that there are little beauty things you can do to make yourself feel special. I can walk around all day and think, Nobody has any idea that I have a sparkly secret in my pants right now. It kind of took off after I wrote about it in my book, and now I have strangers coming up to me all the time like, “Oh, my God, I’m vagazzaled right now. Want to see?” I’m like, “No, I don’t, but congratulations.”

Do you still do it?
I do. I was vagazzaled for my Maxim shoot.

That’s news we can use! By the way, we heard you went to Betty White’s 90th birthday party.

Really? From vagazzaling to Betty White? Segues are not your specialty.

Aw, come on! Didn’t you and Betty White talk vagazzaling?
Yeah, I vagazzaled Betty White for her birthday. No, I didn’t do that, but, yes, I did go to her birthday party. It was so fun!

Now that you’re single, you must get hit on a ton.
It might sound so stupid, but guys do not hit on me. I’m not really sure why, but it’s very rare that a guy will ever come up to me and be like, “I’m going to lay down my game right now, and you’re going to like it.”

At least that spares you from bad pickup lines.
Well, I did get one that was so bad I gave the guy 10 minutes of my time. He was like, “Are you Irish? ’Cause my penis is Dublin.” It was so stupid, but I thought it took some wit at least.

What part of your body are you most proud of?
It’s horrible to say, but I like my boobs. They’ve always served me well. They’re good.

Quite the understatement. Do you have any secret skills we might not know about?
Pole dancing. It’s a great way to stay in touch with your sexuality. I also love to cook, so I can have a cake in the oven while I do a pole dance.

Wow. Has anybody been lucky enough to experience that?
Not yet. I’m reserving that for “the one.”