Come on, don’t act as if you didn’t know. Tim Tebow is totally using Taylor Swift for her body, duh. Jake Gyllenhaal? Took the risk of being the brunt of Taylor Swift‘s passive-aggressive songs just for the pleasure of being able to run his hand down her … spine.
Now don’t get me wrong: I didn’t say that they were, like, going to do it or anything (the outrage! the scandal!). It’s just that Tim’s got someone to focus his fantasies on – even if he’s not going to act them out – and Taylor? Well. She’s just the perfect little subject, now, isn’t she? And eyewitnesses say that Tim and Taylor’s date (bad, bad Home Improvement flashback right there, guys) went really, really well:
Oh, wait, sorry, not that. This:
A source told Us Weekly: ”There were no public displays of affection between Taylor and Tim, but she surely looked happy to be there.” Another insider added: ”Yes, she has a crush on him. She is a massive fan, but I don’t think he sees her that way.”
During the two-hour meal, the ‘Mean’ hitmaker was spotted sipping on a cafe latte, while the Denver Broncos quarterback enjoyed chicken paillard, fettuccine bolognese and cappellini.
However, the blonde beauty is said to have embarked on a ”friendship” with the 24-year-old hunk, rather than a romance. The source added: ”They actually have been speaking a lot about the Bible and Christianity. Right now it’s on the friendship tip – even though that frustrates her.”
So, Taylor sat around drinking coffee while Tim ate, what, for both of them? Sigh! I remember those days – back in high school. It was so uncool to have a guy you were dating see you eat. I mean, what was less hot back then – letting the object of your adolescent affections see you shove something in a hole in the middle of your face while chewing and gnawing, gnashing your teeth and having it ultimately be something that sounds like ‘masturbating’ (masticating)? Oh Taylor. How you make me smile with your young-at-heart … heart.
More importantly, how do y’all like Swifty in her bikini, frolicking down under like it ain’t no thing? Check out the gallery for more photos of Taylor from all angles on the beach.
I do not care for either of these people. But, if there were only one space left on a lifeboat, I would take Taylor Swift. Reluctantly.
Yes, I too would take her.. Doggie style.. again and again..
then, afterwards, I would immediately fall to sleep and snore loudly, leaving her to contemplate “what just happened” whilst lying in a cold puddle”.. D’oh!
The bikini is lovely.
I was typing a response and realized… “It’s f***in’ Taylor Swift”. I have to leave this site now…
Cute, pretty, beautiful but not hot. She’s going to get married…and then cheated on by her rich good looking husband who’ll want the hot chick on the side. Next.
Girlfriend needs to google “muscle tone” and then work on getting some.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…….