Remember a couple of days ago when I told you guys all about how Cynthia Nixon believes that homosexuality, for some people, is a choice? There were a lot of different opinions on it because it was kind of a weird thing to say. Luckily for us, Cynthia is continuing to speak out on the topic, so let’s go ahead and analyze this some more, shall we?
The interviewer’s questions are bolded:
You’ve been quoted as saying about these two relationships in your life: “In terms of sexual orientation, I don’t really feel I’ve changed … I’ve been with men all my life and I’d never fallen in love with a woman. But when I did, it didn’t seem so strange. I’m just a woman in love with another woman.” I’m a bit confused. Were you a lesbian in a heterosexual relationship? Or are you now a heterosexual in a lesbian relationship? That quote seemed like you were fudging a bit.
It’s so not fudging. It’s so not. I think for gay people who feel 100 percent gay, it doesn’t make any sense. And for straight people who feel 100 percent straight, it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t pull out the “bisexual” word because nobody likes the bisexuals. Everybody likes to dump on the bisexuals.
But it is the “B” in LGBT.
I know. But we get no respect.
You just said “we,” so you must self-identify as one.
I just don’t like to pull out that word. But I do completely feel that when I was in relationships with men, I was in love and in lust with those men. And then I met Christine and I fell in love and lust with her. I am completely the same person and I was not walking around in some kind of fog. I just responded to the people in front of me the way I truly felt.
This whole thing just sort of bothers me, and judging by your comments and by other people’s comments around the web, it bothers a lot of other people as well. And I know that it’s her choice, and of course she can call herself whatever she wants to call herself, but it’s just bothersome, that’s all.
If she’s bisexual (and she is), then what’s so bad about being bisexual? And how awful is it that you don’t call yourself bisexual because “nobody likes the bisexuals,” how is that ok? Do you think if some dude who liked to sleep with other dudes said “I’m physically and emotionally attracted to men, but I don’t like to use the word ‘gay,’ because nobody likes the gays,” that it would be all right?
And I know that sexuality is a continuum, and there’s rarely such a thing as completely straight or completely gay, but listen. If you’re a woman who has only had relationships with men your whole life, and those relationships were fulfilling and you were happy and satisfied and you felt comfortable and so pleased with that, then that’s wonderful. Then if you meet a woman who you’re attracted to and you begin a relationship with her, that’s great too. I’m happy for you. But that’s not being a lesbian, that’s just not. That counts out all the other guys you’ve ever been with, and that’s not fair.
Not to mention, every lesbian I’ve ever met couldn’t even fathom the thought of enjoying a penis, at all, in any sense, ever.
To say that your sexuality is a choice is, in my opinion, a pretty risky thing to say. A kid could read that and go “oh, ok, I thought I was gay, but I’m going to go ahead and make a choice to be straight.” A crazy like Victoria Jackson could take that and run with it so hard. And I’m all for making your own choices and not letting other people define you, but Cynthia Nixon is just getting on my nerves with all this.
Thoughts?
What she says about the bisexuals is true, soooo many people just think of them as greedy, as if they couldn’t truly fall in love with two genders. It’s ridiculous. I can see why she doesn’t like the word, you should hear the shit some of my friends (straight and gay) say about bisexuals. I guess it’s hard to stomach.
exactly! a few of my close friends are bi, and others would constantly talk about them, saying things like “can’t they just choose? ugh, it’s like, pick one or the other!” we are so eager to place people into categories…and even those groups who claim to be completely accepting and inclusive are culpable.
I completely agree with everything she said. Not everyone likes to be put into neat little categories of what someone else thinks they should be called. She doesn’t consider herself bisexual because she probably doesn’t even see gender. She falls in love with people, not genders. For her, homosexuality actually is a choice because she chose to love a woman not because she loves women but because she loves THAT woman. And I agree with her, bisexuals do get lots of hate. Especially bisexual guys (ie: Pete Wentz)
If I was a gay person, I would be trying to tape her dumb-ass mouth shut! She seems pretty stupid so I’ll give her a pass on the “doesn’t-know-what-damage-she-is-doing” card, but the homophobes don’t need anymore ammo than they’ve got against gay people. Gay people have been scourged, killed and held in general contempt throughout time. How could anyone say that a person could “choose” a lifestyle/sexual preference knowing full well it might cost them their lives?
I think the point is that she doesn’t feel as though she should have to label herself or her relationships for the convenience of others. She loves who she loves, and she doesn’t feel the need to explain that to anyone. Why should she have to label her sexuality? There seems to be this stigma about not assigning yourself to a sexuality “team”. If you are gay, you need to be straight up, handing flapping gay or your faking it. And if you’re straight, you have to adhere to some stale, dated interpretation of gender roles as well. Can’t the woman just love her women and her men? Does the lack of label and assignment to a specific community of sexuality really have to frustrate people so significantly?