Elliot Page knew he was a boy since he was very young. He just didn’t know how to go about it. He had to 
compromise his true identity in order to pursue an acting career.
Page talks extensively about his decades-long struggle with his gender in a new interview with TIME – his first since he publicly came out as transgender and non-binary in December – admitting that he felt forced to hide his gender for years in order to achieve success in Hollywood.
‘I became a professional actor at the age of 10 and pursuing that passion came with a difficult compromise,’ he shared. ‘Of course I had to look a certain way.’
Page also reveals that his mother, Martha, pushed for him to be more feminine because she was the child of a minister and felt she was doing the right thing.
Martha is, however ‘fully supportive’ of Elliot’s decision to come out, with the actor revealing: ‘She wants me to be who I am and supports me fully.
‘It is a testament to how people really change.’
It’s a really interesting look at the secret life all trans people live before finding their true selves.
TIME is on news stands now.