Britney Spears Wants A “Hot Nerd” With A “Big Penis” — Any Takers?

I’m a little flummoxed by Britney Spears in general. Just, like, as a human being. She seems to function on stage sort of on autopilot, having been pushed into the spotlight since she was a child, and she manages to dance around and lip sync with the best of them. You could say she’s a master at it — and she’s raking in the cash at her Las Vegas residency to prove it. But beyond that, she seems to lack any personality or common sense, so it’s nearly impossible for me to imagine her interacting with anyone on a personal level in any deep and meaningful way, particularly a romantic partner (hence the reason none of her relationships have lasted).

Nevertheless, she’s single and ready to mingle, and as per what she told her Planet Hollywood crowd on Valentine’s Day, she wants a “hot nerd” with a “big penis”. Because that sounds like something a human and not a robot pre-programmed for banter would say!

I mean, bless them for trying to keep Britney going. I shudder to think how many drugs and god knows what else they’ve pumped her up with to keep making money off of her, but here we are nevertheless. This video just totally weirds me out and makes me feel confused and dirty (in all the wrong ways).