There’s A New Duggar Baby & His Name Is Atrocious

Jessa Seewald — nee Jessa Duggar — got shacked up with husband Ben and pretty much immediately started screwing his brains out, resulting in a pregnancy pretty soon after they got married. That special little bundle of joy is now part of our world after a long and difficult labor for Jessa, and his name is… unfortunate. Spurgeon Elliot Seewald was born on November 5 during a home birth that nearly took a turn for the dangerous after she couldn’t stop bleeding.

Jessa, 23, and her husband Ben, 20, welcomed their first child – a 21.5-in. son weighing 9 lb., 11 oz. – last Thursday, but the nearly 48-hour delivery was far different than what she had imagined.

“Labor is hard,” Jessa says with a laugh in this week’s issue of PEOPLE. “It was very intense, very long. Everything was different than I expected.”

Originally due to deliver on Nov. 1 (coincidentally her one-year anniversary with Ben), Jessa went through 10 hours of contractions that nearly forced her to change her plan of having an all-natural home birth.

“I said, ‘That’s it! I’m done! I am going to the hospital and I’m going to get an epidural,’ ” she says. “They asked me if I really wanted to do that and I said, ‘No, I don’t, but I do.’ I wanted to try natural if at all possible.”

There are plenty more details on the birth at the source, if that’s your thing. If you want to know what’s up with that weird ass name, here ya go:

The newborn is named for Charles Spurgeon, a British preacher who lived from 1834-1892. During his lifetime, the Baptist thinker was considered the best-known preacher in England, frequently speaking in front of audiences of more than 10,000 people. He founded a theological college in London, which is today named Spurgeon’s College.

Baby Seewald’s middle name Elliot in honor of late missionaries Jim and Elisabeth Elliot, who worked in South America.

Yikes. Pure kid (on so many levels). Still, that baby is innocent and has so much potential… to get away from his cult-like family and hopefully form some real ideas about the world around him rather than the prejudiced, creationist B.S. the Duggars are likely to teach him from the second he’s capable of really listening to it (and likely before).