Iggy Azalea got breast implants a few months ago

While Iggy Azalea‘s star continues to wane, she’s desperate to grab on to any last celestial scrap she can before she plummets back down to the shithole she came from. As such, she’s managed to book herself a little feature in the April issue of Vogue, where she’s decided to “be honest” (i.e. desperately try to get more attention by any means possible) about many things, including the fact that she got fake tits a few months ago.

It is slightly stunning, then, when I ask the rather routine question “What would you change about your body?” and she replies, popping a French fry in her mouth and not blinking an eye, “I did change something: Four months ago, I got bigger boobs! I’d thought about it my entire life.” She says she was sick of having to sew padding into her stage costumes and wanted to be able to wear lingerie without wiring. At first she resolved never to discuss this publicly; she didn’t want girls—so many of her fans are barely high school age—to feel bad about their own bodies. “But then,” she says, “I decided I wasn’t into secret-keeping.”

Oh, Christ. It’s not a SECRET if you don’t come out and announce that you had your boobs done. The fact that you ARE coming out and announcing it is a desperate cry for people to give a shit about you since they’re very clearly not doing that very much these days.

There’s literally not much else to this piece AT ALL, but here’s the closing paragraph, which is pretty hilarious:

Azalea hates changing rooms—which may be why she falls for a Chloé poncho that can, she says, be tossed over thermals, making her legs and shoes the only thing she has to worry about. “All of a sudden I am fabulous!” she says. “I want to be superfabulous—but also lazy.”

I don’t know the last time any person over the age of 8 has uttered the words “I want to be superfabulous” and meant it, but here we are. Iggy Azalea, ladies and gentlemen.