Before anyone gets their panties in a twist, yes, I’m being somewhat facetious with the headline. All kids are cute (not!) and precious in their own way and there’s no reason to talk smack about kids. That being said, Cara Delevingne is a famous model now who makes more money in a single photoshoot than I will this year, probably, so I doubt she’s worried about me talking shit.
Cara posted a picture of her miniature self on Instagram earlier this week and it’s sort of hilarious:
You can see the beginnings of that strong eyebrow game going, but she sorta looks like Gizmo from Gremlins, doesn’t she? I mean that in the cutest way possible, of course, and obviously it hasn’t hurt her any. That pic above is one of my favs of her – stunning! (And yes, I’m anticipating those who will come under and talk about how ugly you think she is.)
I just don’t get it… Why do people think she’s hot? I mean, everyone has their own particular tastes but … wtf planet? Seriously, there’s probably 100 girls within 5 miles of me right now that are way prettier than this chick. I’m … just … stumped … and I have a ton of experience jerking off to hot chicks. She’s anti-jerk material. It used to be my Grandma’s giant saggy boobs but now, it’s Cara Deliwhatever. From this point forward, whenever I’m in a bad spot (seeing a hot chick at a funeral, eyeing up my lady before going out or acting like I’m not staring at my hairdressers boobies) I shall think of Cara and her face and my stiffy will disappear immediately.