LOL, Yeah, Okay: Nigella Lawson Has Apparently Been Addicted to Cocaine, Pot and Pills For a Decade #TeamNigella

We can’t possibly know what goes on in the private lives of celebrities all the time, regardless of how pervasive the media and paparazzi might be. I’m sure we could hear some stories that would absolutely make our heads spin ’round. However, I’m sorry, I find it absolutely laughable that Charles Saatchi – who, lest we forget, is an abusive dickhead who was caught publicly choking his wife – is now claiming that Nigella Lawson has been a drug addict for the past 10 years.

Well, I’m simplifying it a bit. Here’s the deal: these two Italian kitchen assistants that Nigella has worked with for – surprise! the past decade were caught having stolen £300,000 worth of Saatchi’s money from his company credit card. Since they’re in deep shit and having to go to court to answer for the charges, they’ve decided that a great defense would be to say that Nigella was so “off her head” (direct quote!) on cocaine, pot and prescription pills for the past ten years that she told them to go ahead and spend whatever they want as part of an “understanding” that they wouldn’t tell Saatchi about her drug habit. LMAO okay.

Saatchi then released his own little statement saying he totally believes the Grillo sisters (the thieves) about all the drug charges because “after all, they only stole money” (uh, what?) and claimed that Nigella drugged her 19-year-old daughter Cosmia and oh man, this whole shit is a mess. Here’s a bit more from The Mirror:

He was said to be furious after discovering her “guilty secret” following claims that she had been snorting cocaine every day for a decade and using cannabis and prescription pills.

The millionaire art dealer branded her “Higella” – and also accused her of “poisoning” her daughter Cosima, 19, with drugs and “trashing her life”. He added: “Classy!”

Judge Robin Johnson read out an email in which Saatchi blasted his ex-wife for abusing drugs with Cosima, known as Mimi – her daughter from her first marriage to John Diamond, who died of cancer in 2001.

In the message, sent at 9.06pm on October 10, Saatchi accused his ex of ruining the teenager’s life.

He added: “Of course now the Grillo sisters will get off on the basis that you, Mimi [and another person] were so off your heads on drugs that you allowed the sisters to spend whatever they liked. And yes I believe every word they have said.

LOL, I just can’t with this pathetic old man – or these two assistants! Saatchi is desperate as hell to clear his name and get focus off the fact that he’s an abusive prick, and the two assistants are just trying to spare their asses a load of jail time. I’m sorry, but I just do not believe for a single second that Nigella Lawson is or ever was a drug addict. I can’t see it and I won’t even entertain that fuckery.

Hilariously, Higella (great nickname, btw) sorta kinda acknowledged everything that’s going on – or at least her team did – with today’s recipe of the day on Twitter:

#TeamNigella For EVER.