Cher On Miley: “She can’t dance, her body looked like hell”

Cher‘s new album is coming out pretty soon so she’s hitting the media, guns blazing. She’s at a point in her career where she just doesn’t give a f-ck. Or rather, she does, but not personally. You know? She wants people to like her music but she doesn’t care if they like her. As told to USA Today,

Right before I walked out there [to perform on The Voice], I told my mom, ‘I’m so sweating it. I’m a has-been. My career is nothing.’ It’s my first time out of the box in 12 years, in front of 20 million people.

It gets harder when you’re working against girls in their 20s. Tell me who at my age is making a record and wants to be on radio? When I started out, I thought I’d be dead by now.

In her interview with USA, she was asked about Gaga and Miley, of course. She and Gaga recorded a duet together that it turns out, neither of them was happy with (“I wasn’t thrilled with my part, and she wasn’t thrilled with her part, and neither one of us were thrilled with the music.”) Of Miley and her VMA performance, she said what I, and I’m pretty sure lots of people, have been thinking:

I’m not old-fashioned. She could have come out naked, and if she’d just rocked the house, I would have said, ‘You go, girl.’ It just wasn’t done well. She can’t dance, her body looked like hell, the song wasn’t great, one cheek was hanging out. And, chick, don’t stick out your tongue if it’s coated.

BOOM BASH BOSH BOOF. Biff. Biff Tannen. That’s some hardcore Biff Tannen stuff. Like Back to the Future. She’s telling Miley to make like a tree and GET OUT OF HERE.