Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh, Great: Lady GaGa Has a New Song Called ‘Swine’

Lady GaGa is currently terrorising London in advance of her slot opening the iTunes Festival on September 1st, and she's deep in rehearsals for this very important performance, where she'll unveil tons of new material from Artpop, including a track called... 'Swine'. Lovely. In a one minute promotional video GaGa posted online, we see her singing about someone being a "pig in a human body" before convulsing on her piano, convulsing while playing the drums, seemingly humping the drum stool, banging on the drums, screaming the word "swine" and also trying to get the hashtag "#swinefest" trending. Um, what am I missing here? At a certain point, art crosses over into being absolute farce. Seriously - this is laughable. I'm just not sure what I'm meant to think when watching her anymore. I just sort of feel... bad for her. I see a drug-addicted woman with obvious mental illnesses who is so desperate for fame that she's willing to try and pass ANYTHING off as "art". It's actually uncomfortable for me. I want to go back to the days of the Fame Monster EP - great pop music without so much artifice. /> Lady GaGa is currently terrorising London in advance of her slot opening the iTunes Festival on September 1st, and she's deep in rehearsals for this very important performance, where she'll unveil tons of new material from Artpop, including a track called... 'Swine'. Lovely. In a one minute promotional video GaGa posted online, we see her singing about someone being a "pig in a human body" before convulsing on her piano, convulsing while playing the drums, seemingly humping the drum stool, bang...

Kris Jenner’s Talk Show Is Still Hanging On By a Thread

kris jenner Kris Jenner's daytime talk show is absolute bullshit that absolutely no one wants to watch. Sure, blackmailing Kanye into coming on with the first pics of poor little North West propped her up for a hot minute, but the overall performance of the series means it's heading straight for the bin. But wait! Maybe there's still hope! A Fox executive has revealed that they haven't officially cancelled the show "yet" (though I'm sure that's coming): From The Wrap: Don't count Kris Jenner out quite y...

Ozzy Osbourne Set His House On Fire With Bacon

sharon osbourne ozzy osbourne Listen, I feel Ozzy Osbourne on this one - sometimes you just need some bacon. Shit is delicious - the uncured, thick-cut stuff, that is. Oh, and the back bacon that you can only seem to get in the UK. Ugh, now I want bacon. In any case, it's likely a reverie just like mine that led Ozzy to his Los Angeles kitchen to fry up some of the good shit (not THAT good shit - he's clean now!). Unfortunately, he, uh... set the place on fire. From WENN: Los Angeles firefighters were called out to Ozz...

Important Poll: How Cute Are Jessica Simpson’s Kids?

jessica simpson's kids are cute Jessica Simpson's love of getting it on with fiancé Eric Johnson led to her having two children with him pretty close together. Maxwell Drew is the little girl's name and Ace Knute (SMH) is the new little boy. They're a cute family, right? I mean, Maxwell's pretty perfect. Ace just looks like a baby at the moment - but a cute baby. Here's the important question, though: Just HOW cute are these kids? You decide. {democracy:542}...

Dear God Make It Stop: Here’s Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber’s Track, ‘Twerk’

justin bieber miley cyrus Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber are probably the two most insufferable personalities in showbiz in general today - yes, they even beat out Lady GaGa for this title. If they weren't bad enough on their own, they've now done something truly diabolical by joining up for a duet... on a song called 'Twerk'. Kill me now, please. 'Twerk' - which features the friend Justin Bieber usually lets drive his sports cars around Hollywood, Lil Twist - leaked online yesterday to the horror of all with working ears. The track will apparently appear on Lil Twist...

Alec Baldwin Isn’t Happy About You Trying to Take Pictures of His Wife and Baby

alec baldwin hilaria thomas Alec Baldwin and his wife Hilaria Thomas have just had a baby girl, so it was only a matter of time before Alec started fighting with paparazzi who got a bit too close in trying to take pictures of the happy family. While out in New York, Alec pushed a photographer and even got him up against a car in broad daylight, forcing the NYPD to get involved. From TMZ: Alec Baldwin has struck again ... allegedly ... grabbing a photog on the streets of New York in front of several witnesses ... and now the N...

Michelle Obama’s Got Some New Hair

michelle obama new hair Michelle Obama's got some new hair, everyone. Tell the people. It's very important. The First Lady didn't go into full-on shocking Beyoncé pixie cut mode, but it's definitely a different look. She appears to have added some highlights. Done by a small child, because man, they look messy to me. I'm not sure if this is better or worse than the bangs. Which look do you guys prefer?...

Badass Ex-Scientologist Leah Remini To Do Dancing With The Stars??

leah remini dancing with the stars Brace yourselves: Dancing with the Stars is coming, and with it, casting rumors! I LOVE DWTS CASTING RUMORS. First, here are the confirmed dancers: -- Valerie Harper, of Rhoda fame (confirmed by TMZ). Valerie Harper is also badass in her own right. She's got a form of terminal brain cancer but she wants to do DWTS to bring as much attention to cancer research as possible. I'm guessing she's donating her fee to that, too. It's great that she's feeling well enough to do this show. People make fun of it, but DWTS can be very gru...

Kim Kardashian Had No Idea Her Brother-In-Law Had A Serious Drug Problem

lamar odom fast food Kim Kardashian apparently had no idea that her brother-in-law, Lamar Odom, had a serious drug problem. Over the past few days, everything's coming out. Odom disappeared on a presumed binge and was found at a hotel. Wife Khloe Kardashian wants to separate. THEN everybody denied that any of that happened. Uh, okay. Someone should tell his agent that. So, basically, there's actual drama going on with the Kardashians. Miss Kim has had a lot going on lately, too. She just had a baby and then slept for 6 weeks. When she woke ...

Catherine Zeta-Jones And Michael Douglas Not Divorcing, But Separating

catherine zeta-jones michael douglas AFI awards Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones aren't divorcing, at least not yet. They are, however, separating. Gee, maybe because Michael Douglas blamed C Z-J for his cancer (a claim he tried to take back, but too late, bro.) Here's the official statement from Ms. Zeta-Jones' rep, gave E! News, via E Online: Catherine and Michael are taking some time apart to evaluate and work on their marriage. From that sentence, E! has gleaned that, "it's important to note that the Oscar-winning spouses have yet to ...

Ricky Martin Used to Bully Gay People

ricky martin Ricky Martin came out as gay a few years ago, but it turns out that he actually used to bully gay kids himself when he was younger. This isn't surprising given that he struggled with his sexuality quite a lot as a youngster - common tale, for sure. From GQ Australia (via DS): "I look back now and realize I would bully people who I knew were gay," he said. "I had internalised homophobia. To realize that was confronting to me. I wanted to get away from that." Martin stated that his Rom...