Wow, Someone Really Loves David Hasselhoff

In a story that’s too bizarre to be true (but it totally is), a store clerk in Shelton, Connecticut is in hospital in critical condition after robbers stole a bunch of life-sized cut-outs of David Hasselhoff (???) from a local Cumberland Farms and he was hit by their car and dragged as they tried to get away.  What the fuck?

From The Connecticut Post:

The 36-year-old employee noticed a black SUV pull up to the gas station and convenience store on River Road about 1:30 a.m. Tuesday and its occupants begin cutting down the advertisements from a light pole, police said.

The cutouts play on the former “Baywatch” star’s camp factor to promote iced coffee dubbed “iced Hoffee” by Cumberland Farms, and it’s proven so popular that about 550 of the giant cutouts have been stolen in the Northeast since the advertising campaign began, according to CBS TV in New York.

In Shelton’s Hasselhoff theft, two men and one woman in the SUV got the cutouts into the vehicle, said Shelton police Lt. Robert Kozlowsky.

As they were fleeing the scene, the vehicle struck the clerk and dragged him before throwing him backward onto his head. The incident left the clerk in critical condition. He was not immediately identified by officials.

I have to add that apparently so many of the cut-outs were stolen last year that the store ordered a “significant buffer” so they could hold onto them. Uh, why not just offer them up for sale if they’re all that popular?

Cumberland Farms spokesperson Carin Warner gave the following statement:

“Obviously, this is a very unfortunate situation and we’re doing everything we can to cooperate with the police to try and find the individuals.”

I mean, obviously this was a prank gone awry and a total accident, but holy shit, did the man and woman responsible get more than they bargained for. I do hope they turn themselves in just because that’s the decent thing to do, but I think they’ll be too scared shitless to do it. They’d better hope the police don’t find them first.

All of this over The Hoff? Tsk, tsk. Oh, and speaking of Hoff, he tweeted his condolences about the incident… in all caps, no less!