Ladies And Gentlemen: Celebrities In Bikinis

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Bikini season is upon us. ‘Tis the time of year where we get to see “BEST AND WORST BIKINI BODS OF 2013” splashed all over celeb magazines, along with hints of “HERE ARE 100 PEOPLE HOTTER THAN YOU ARE, F-CK YOU!” So let’s get it over with and take the wind out of our sails with this post of celebrities in bikinis and get to the inevitable who looks fat and who doesn’t and let’s cry into our pizza. Our delicious f-cking pizza. I think all these ladies look great, although I doubt some of their bikini choices, simply because some of these are ugly.

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That moment when you’re like, damn, Olivia Wilde and I have almost the exact same bikini, time to destroy mine. Here she is with Jason Sudeikis, who is totally not the father of this kid.

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Britney Spears, coming off her Shape magazine cover, wears a little blue bikini in Rancho Palos Verdes, California.

Geri Halliwell AKA Ginger Spice AKA Goddamn She’s 40???

Victoria Silvstedt who pretty much lives in a bikini year round.

Kristin Cavallari, who just had a f-cking kid. What the everloving f-ck.

Heather Graham. Kinda forgot about her. Welcome back.

You get TWO photos of Katharine McPhee, because I couldn’t pick just one! Wow!

And finally…

Katherine Heigl, because I love a girl who isn’t afraid to flaunt her non-tan.

And none for you, Paris Hilton. Yeah, I saw your bikini photos on Instagram. I’m not posting them.