Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Is Benedict Cumberbatch Secretly Married?

Noooo, Sherlock, how could you do this to us?! And by "us" I mean the people who would actually be upset about this - of which I am not one, alas. Regardless, rumour has it that Benedict Cumberbatch has gone and got married and he didn't tell any of you. From The London Daily News (via whatever this site even is):
Reports from the London Daily News yesterday (March 29, 2013), suggest the 36-year-old British actor has secretly got hitched to his long-term relationship. There had already been speculation that the loved-up pair were set to announce their engagement but it sounds like they might have just jumped straight to wedded bliss! The paper says the actor has been spotted wearing a new wedding ring earlier this week. The couple is said to have exchanged vows in an intimate morning ceremony at a secret location, before few close friends and family members.
LOL, could they have any less information about this? Not the gender of his partner, not the ceremony, the location, nothing. I call bullshit, but whatever. So long as it wasn't his stalker he married. />Noooo, Sherlock, how could you do this to us?! And by "us" I mean the people who would actually be upset about this - of which I am not one, alas. Regardless, rumour has it that Benedict Cumberbatch has gone and got married and he didn't tell any of you. From The London Daily News (via whatever this site even is): Reports from the London Daily News yesterday (March 29, 2013), suggest the 36-year-old British actor has secretly got hitched to his long-term relationship. There had already been s...

Britney Spears Still Shops at Walmart, Is Definitely My Hero

I've said it before and I'll say it again - even if I became a multi-millionaire one day, you will still see me at Target with the general population. Sure, I'll be buying with abandon (hay, bulk paper towels!), but having more money just makes me feel cheaper than when I was broke. It's odd that way, but perhaps Britney Spears is picking up what I'm putting down, as she's been shopping at Walmart, y'all! Still home in Kentwood, Louisiana - her old hometown - BritBrit hit up Walmart in the same clothes she flew in with on Thursday (love u, girl) as she bought toys, flowers and God knows what other crap.  Her bodyguard was with her, but generally she kept it low key. The only thing missing was her new boyfriend who - despite passing his background check with flying colours, I guess - was nowhere to be found. Boo hoo. More of Brit's shopping fun below... [gallery columns="4"] />I've said it before and I'll say it again - even if I became a multi-millionaire one day, you will still see me at Target with the general population. Sure, I'll be buying with abandon (hay, bulk paper towels!), but having more money just makes me feel cheaper than when I was broke. It's odd that way, but perhaps Britney Spears is picking up what I'm putting down, as she's been shopping at Walmart, y'all! Still home in Kentwood, Louisiana - her old hometown - BritBrit hit up Walmart in the same...

Madonna Doesn’t Care If Her Homeless Brother Dies

madonna Like many famous people, Madonna has a family member who's trying to cash in on her success and undeniable bitchiness. The star's estranged brother, Anthony Ciccone, has gone to the press to run his mouth about what a cold-hearted snake he has for a sister, claiming that she doesn't care about his homeless, alcoholic ass and wouldn't even be bothered if he died. From The Daily Mail (so GIANT grain of salt suggested): Anthony Ciccone – who has been on the streets for almost three years -...

‘No Shit, Sherlock’ Of The Day: Justin Timberlake Has Taken Plenty of Drugs

justin timberlake In a turn of events that will surprise exactly no one, Justin Timberlake has admitted that he's done plenty of drugs in his day. Hilariously, most of the "substances" he's taken have all been at Coachella, where he tripped balls in the middle of open fields while Weezer played on stage. Weezer! LOL, I can't with you, Justin. From MySpace: I’ve been to Coachella many times, on many different, um, substances. I’ve been to Coachella many times but not remembered a lot of it, I’ll leave it at that. But I reme...

Jeremy Renner and His (Ex?) Girlfriend Person Had a Baby!

jeremy renner Jeremy Renner and Sonni Pacheco - a woman with whom he certainly had sex but may or may not have ever actually otherwise been involved with - have had a baby! Hurrah! It was announced on Friday that the pair had become parents to a little girl named Ava Berlin Renner on March 28, with Renner's publicist issuing the following statement: "They are beyond thrilled. Mother and daughter are doing great." The only thing that's missing here is an "over the moon" and I think the circle would be complete. Jeremy's not the first star to...

Lindsay Lohan Swears She Didn’t Steal Anything From The ‘Anger Management’ Set

lindsay lohanThere's no one (besides maybe Winona Ryder) who loves a five finger discount quite as much as Lindsay Lohan. Despite only narrowly avoiding prosecution for stealing $100k worth of jewelry from a house party and pocketing some stuff from a boutique a year or so ago, she's back at it again and has been accused of taking jewelry and wardrobe items from the set of Anger Management so she could go clubbing that night. Uh, this bitch! From TMZ: We're told during filming ... Lindsay decided she was g...

Katy Perry’s Still Done With Men… Unless John Mayer Wants to Get Back Together, Or Whatever

john mayer katy perry Katy Perry and John Mayer were never going to last very long, and that's just fine - he was a nice rebound for her after splitting from Russell Brand and that dude from Florence + The Machine's band and she was... I'm not sure what for him. In any case, they both cut their losses earlier this month and split and Katy decided to leave relationships alone for a while, and she still will... so long as Johnny Boy doesn't want to get back together for some raunchy make up sex or whatever the hell these two did togethe...

Jennifer Lopez Priced Herself Out of the Indian Super Bowl

jennifer lopez performing Jennifer Lopez doesn't seem to be doing much in recent months, musically speaking, but was all set to perform at the opening ceremony of the Indian Premiere League's upcoming cricket tournament. That is, until she made insane in the membrane demands including a private jet and loads of hotel rooms for her entourage and the IPL said thanks, but no thanks, after all. From The New York Post: Sources tell us the pampered pop princess’ manager, Benny Medina, had asked that a private plane be made ...

Lil Wayne Has Epilepsy But Won’t Quit the Sizzurp

lil wayne Things have been rough lately for Lil Wayne. After suffering multiple seizures, he was rushed to hospital earlier this month and was apparently on his last legs and close to death after a particularly intense Sizzurp binge (which caused even more seizures), which led to him having his stomach pumped and a nice stay in the ICU. He was eventually released and even announced plans to go on tour, so he must be recovering okay. In any case, Weezy called into Power 106 FM in Los Angeles on Thursday to...

Justin Bieber’s Mom Sucks; Plus, Justin Sneaks Monkey On Plane, Refuses to Pay for Tattoo

Justin Bieber's mother, Pattie Mallette, certainly won't be winning any parent of the year awards, that's for sure. After nearly aborting the little dickhead, she's now trying to get famous by writing books and making films about how great actually having him worked out for her (read: $$$$, ya'll!), all the while not giving a shit how much of an unbearable asshole he's turned out to be. Mallette is out on the ho stroll promoting Crescendo, which she is an executive producer on, and of course she's been asked about Justin's antics as of late, the most recent of which being his spitting in his neighbor's face and threatening to kill him, refusing to pay a tattoo artist and sneaking a monkey onto his private jet. You'd think, as his mother, she'd refuse to comment (because you can't realistically expect her to admit that yeah, he's turned into a nasty piece of work) or say that it's difficult and she's trying to work out what's behind his bullshit, etc. Instead, she just sorta shrugged and said her job as a parent is done. From Access Hollywood:
"Him being 19, you know, I've just gotta let go a little and let him make some of his own decisions. He's growing up. He's 19. He's not my baby."
I mean, sure - he is technically an adult and can do whatever he wants, but I'm not even a parent and I know that role doesn't end when a kid turns 18. Can she control him? Maybe not, but if she's raised him to be so close to her and all that bullshit they both spout, you think she'd give more of a shit. But, you know, I guess once the check clears in the bank, you care a lot less about your own flesh and blood. As for Justin, here's more on his other fuckery. A tattoo artist from London has spoken out over the "spoiled brat" who whined and moaned about the £1,000 ($1,600) fee until the guy left with only half the money just to get away. From The Mirror:
"Initially I was told to go to Justin's hotel at 7pm by one of his minders but then I was called back and put on standby all night. "I was finally summoned to the hotel at 6am. I was told money wasn't a problem so we didn't discuss prices." "When I said it was £1,000, Bieber's bodyguard didn't want to pay. They snubbed me and tried to haggle over the money. In the end I accepted £500 just so I could go. "Basically, he's a joke and a spoilt brat. When I was there, I also saw Justin throw a fit with his personal assistant. It was disgraceful."
To be fair to Justin, I'd begrudge paying a grand for such ugly body art. Fuuuuuuck this kid. If all that wasn't enough, he now faces prosecution and up to a $10,000 (or whatever the Euro equivalent is) in Germany for sneaking his pet monkey, Mally, on a transatlantic flight. The monkey's now being detained at customs at his expense. What an idiot. From The Sun:
The star broke strict health laws by sneaking the primate into Germany in his private jet. Last night a source said: “Justin has been acting like a right diva. He is out of control and lives in an alternative reality to the rest of us. “He didn’t think about the potential risks of flying a monkey from one continent to another. “He and Mally go everywhere together. He will be heartbroken it has been put in quarantine. A customs spokesman said: “The animal required a certificate of health and other authorisations.You cannot just land with a wild animal and bring it into the country if the flight has not originated from another EU country and you don’t have the proper paperwork.”
MAKE IT STOP. />Justin Bieber's mother, Pattie Mallette, certainly won't be winning any parent of the year awards, that's for sure. After nearly aborting the little dickhead, she's now trying to get famous by writing books and making films about how great actually having him worked out for her (read: $$$$, ya'll!), all the while not giving a shit how much of an unbearable asshole he's turned out to be. Mallette is out on the ho stroll promoting Crescendo, which she is an executive producer on, and of course she...

Dolly Parton Has A Tumblr And She Really Loves Gifs

dolly parton men and food Dolly Parton has her very own very official very new Tumblr. I think she's interesting that she took this approach with her web presence. Very hip, Dolly. Solid move. I mean, who knows if she personally works on it, but it's still a good idea. Here's the inaugural post: Welcome to the OFFICIAL Dolly Parton Tumblr, showcasing some of the best of YOUR Dolly themed Tumblr posts! Be sure to tag your Dolly-related posts with “Dolly Parton” for a chance to be featured right here! :) The Tumblr...

Love The Way You Lie: Chris Brown Claims That He And Rihanna Are Not Together

chris brown crotch grab Chris Brown and Rihanna are going to frustrate everyone with their relationship until they break up for good. And for one shining, glimmering moment of hope, it seemed that maybe they were done. Chris "I Will Fight You Over Ten Dollars" Brown gave an interview with radio station Power 106. DJ Big Boy asked Brown, All righty now, Chris, man. You and Rihanna, are y'all back together? To which "Chris, Man" replied, No. And that's just [a] quick answer. What? So you went from 1. Being p...