Katy Perry Might Be Engaged to John Mayer, But Probably Not

Katy Perry can’t shit without someone speculating whether it means she’s planning to get married again, and the rumours  hit fever pitch again this weekend when she was seen out with boyfriend/professional douchebag John Mayer on Valentine’s Day wearing a heart-shaped ruby ring.

First of all, even Katy – she of whipped cream rocket boobs and glittered cupcake dresses – isn’t tacky enough to have a heart-shaped engagement ring. Second of all, she’s not stupid enough to get married so soon after her divorce from Russell Brand (who described her as “perfect from top to bottom“) and to someone like John Mayer.

Here’s the ring in question, made by Santa Barbara-based jeweller Daniel Gibbings:

That ring looks like it came from a Cracker Jack box, but I bet it was expensive. Let’s all just stop trying to marry Katy Perry off again and let people wear jewellery without it meaning something other than “I really like this piece of jewellery”, okay?