OK, so reason number one this movie's entirely unrealistic: Brad Pitt is way too good-looking for his movie-wife. She's pretty alright, but she's definitely kind of plain. She's a plain Jane, and it just doesn't fit. Which probably means she's going to die in the first fifteen minutes of the movie, like Will Smith's wife did in that other zombie movie, 'I Am Legend'.
Two? I feel like the first thirty seconds of the clip is a badly-filmed PSA for safe city driving. Or bicycling. Like, "Hey, watch your ass on that bike, young man, or a buff and hot Brad Pitt's going to come and kick your ass." Or something.
Three? Brad Pitt's character's name is Jerry. Or Gerry. Actually, come to think of it, it's probably Gerry, because Gerry is way, way worse than Jerry. Sorry, Gerrys.
Four. Is his boss's name Terry? Seriously?
Last---whatever. I'm still totally going to see it. It's got action, Brad Pitt, disaster on a global scale, and explosions. In short, it's going to be a masterpiece, not unlike that of 'The Day After Tomorrow', which had action, Dennis Quaid, disaster on a global scale, and explosions. Oh, and snow.
And also, God, Brad Pitt is so hot. />
OK, so reason number one this movie's entirely unrealistic: Brad Pitt is way too good-looking for his movie-wife. She's pretty alright, but she's definitely kind of plain. She's a plain Jane, and it just doesn't fit. Which probably means she's going to die in the first fifteen minutes of the movie, like Will Smith's wife did in that other zombie movie, 'I Am Legend'.
Two? I feel like the first thirty seconds of the clip is a badly-filmed PSA for safe city driving. Or bicycling. Like, "Hey, w...
Sarcasm is so, so great you guys. I love it so dearly. See, I said that Kate Gosselin is still a great mom, but if you know anything about Kate Gosselin, you know that she's shown some signs of being kind of a shitty mom sometimes. So what I actually meant was that Kate Gosselin has done something else to show that she is not a great mom, but I used sarcasm in the headline, just 'cause. Isn't that great?
Ok, but listen: Kate Gosselin left her kids with Kendra Wilkinson, some teenage girl, and some camera crew this one time. And no, I don't get it either.
Kate Gosselin has once a...
I don't mean "ugh, LeAnn Rimes adopted a dog" like it's a stupid thing to do or anything. I mean "ugh, LeAnn Rimes adopted a dog" because it's actually a sweet story, and it makes me a little upset that I had a positive thought about LeAnn Rimes.
Here's the story from People:
The surprise addition joined Rimes, husband Eddie Cibrian, and Cibrian's sons – Mason, 9, and Jake, 5 – after a very rough morning: the puppy was abandoned in traffic on a busy street in the Los Angeles area.
...
How horrible, right? How could you hate an innocent little child like Honey Boo Boo? If you don't like her, fine, or if you think she's trashy, whatever. I see you up there on your high horse, I get it. But hate? That's just sad.
It's because she has a pet chicken. See that photo up there? The chicken's name is Nugget. And PETA thinks that is the least cool thing to name a pet chicken. They want her to rename the chicken "Not A Nugget," which for some reason just isn't as catchy,...
And that's saying a lot, considering many of Kim's fashion choices as of late, you know?
This dress, too, is actually from Kim's Kardashian Kollection, and it retails for somewhere around sixty or seventy bucks, and that is *actually* quite a steal, considering that the dress ... well, the dress is pretty nice. I would totally, totally wear that dress, and I don't say that about many things Kim puts on her body.
And speaking of the Kardashian Kollection, it just launched in the UK. This i...
Rumer Willis has a nice ass. [The Superficial]
Gwyneth's ugly-ass shoes. [Lainey Gossip]
Mark Wahlberg is going to be in 'Transformers 4'. [Splash]
A 'Lincoln' review. [Starpulse]
Angelina Jolie is doing something with her ex-husband and Brad's mad. [Cele|bitchy]
Ted Nugent is an ass, go figure. [Huff Po]
Ways in which we fail at being feminists. [The Frisky]
Rihanna broke up with Chris Brown already. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Lady Gaga's BOOBS. [Yeeeah]
Goooooo cleavage! [G Celeb]
Blind Ite...
Yeah, because no. It's really, really bad - I'd say it makes her look like she's got a unibrow, which, sorry to all of the unibrowed people out there, is never a good look, but it's too far down, so she looks like she's got some kind of malformation of her forehead and eyebrows and eyelids. It's like she was going for a Vulcan look, but the makeup artist heard "vulva" instead, and made a vagina out of black eye makeup atop the bridge of Kristen's nose.
Anyway, this is what Kristen looked li...
OK, so a few guesses as to who this lady is a sister to---
---There've been gay rumors about this guy since ... well, since the beginning of time.
---He was pretty close to Roseanne (Barr? Arnold?) for a good while.
---He rolls with the big cats.
Jump in to find out who big brother is!
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I'm not going to get mad at you for not remembering this, because there's been a lot of stuff going on in Lindsay Lohan's life lately, and you can't feel guilty for not remembering every meth promise she's ever made. But she was supposed to do an interview with Barbara Walters. It was part of the whole Liz & Dick deal: Barbara came to the set, Lindsay showed her around and talked to her about some things. That already happened, that's already been filmed. But the big thing was that Lindsay was scheduled to do a new inter...
I know, I know. Another story about the mysterious, stupid romance of Rihanna and Chris Brown. But at least this one has horses and diamonds. That's something, right?
Ok, look. The horses represent both Rihanna and Chris, see? And the diamonds she smokes, they represent their relationship, which is both beautiful and hard. And they got high a lot. Oh, and that mysterious tattooed arm in the video? That could actually be Chris Brown's arm. No, his literal arm. Scandalous.
But in any case, the video has pretty water - doesn't swimming in warm water sound just so perfect right now? - and lots of slow motion horse shots, so there's something for everyone, now isn't there? />
I know, I know. Another story about the mysterious, stupid romance of Rihanna and Chris Brown. But at least this one has horses and diamonds. That's something, right?
Ok, look. The horses represent both Rihanna and Chris, see? And the diamonds she smokes, they represent their relationship, which is both beautiful and hard. And they got high a lot. Oh, and that mysterious tattooed arm in the video? That could actually be Chris Brown's arm. No, his literal arm. Scandalous.
But in any case, the video has pretty water - doesn't swimming in warm water sound just ...
And could you, with her wearing this kind of stuff ALL the F-CKING TIME?
The latest on Courtney, however, is not necessarily how useless we think she is, it's how useless other people think Courtney Stodden is, and by "other" people, I mean "people who might have influence over her 'career'." No, Courtney and her grandpappy husband, Doug Hutchison, were kicked off 'Couples Therapy' this past week because Courtney refused to wear more appropriate clothing for a session or something. I don't kn...
Well thank heavens Reese Witherspoon went and had this baby, because for a minute, there, she was getting really, really boring. I mean, do you even remember the strange, awkward speech with Robert Pattinson at that one MTV awards show? Honestly, was she smoking some drugs that night? Because that was probably the second-most interesting thing she's done in the past five years, maybe.
But yeah, this baby. This baby is cute! Cute, cute, cute! His name is Tennessee James Toth, and if that do...