See this picture? It’s Katy Perry. On a volcano-top. The best part is probably the caption on the photo, though. It reads:
I ate, I prayed, I climbed a volcano.
So, so deep, Katy.
In previous days, Katy’s Twitter feed has looked something like this:
Getting some shit out my chakra’s! #eloquent
Starting the day with a group meditate #breakfastofchampions
I can feel the phoenix rising.
Hopefully when Katy talks about getting “shit” out of her chakras (and not “chakra’s), she means John Mayer. Because guys. I heard something that really left me quite unsettled, even though I think Katy Perry’s a big stupid asshole and nothing about her should surprise me at this point anyway. But do you know what I heard? I heard that Katy Perry and John Mayer almost got married during their recent trip to Las Vegas. No joke. Word is that the two got wasted and thought it’d be a great idea to, you know, tie that knot, because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you have a pure, enduring love, but the two backed out when they realized that they just couldn’t stand up straight at the altar—translation? They were too drunk to go through with it.
Even worse, Katy’s allowing John to move in with her in a sense. And it’s because it’s just “easier” for John to stay at her house rather than at hotels while he’s in L.A., so she’s gone ahead and given him a key to her house. A friend says that it just makes sense, guys, so there’s no arguing with it:
“John thinks it is easier to stay in hotels rather than his own L.A. pad when he visits from New York. But Katy insists he should stay with her. She thinks it makes sense.”
Ugh. Is there anyone more depressing and embarrassing and sad as this chick? I’m starting to feel bad for Katy Perry, and that’s quite a feat, considering all things.
I took a dump in a volcano. Shit went everywhere.
Did anybody hear the Russell Brand interview he gave a little while ago where he said he had ‘really liked the idea of marriage and children,’ not that he loved Katy and wanted to be married and have kids with her? She was just kinda there when he was ready to try something else, so I sympathize with her tying to find herself and to find love. And her type is apparently douchers so, she needs lots of help from her girlfriends…oh wait. Her bestie still loves her ass beating ex. Yeah, good luck Kats.
Seriously. She has, like, the worst taste in men (next to Rihanna).
“… I think Katy Perry’s a big stupid asshole…”, I absolutely love you for that line. Also I see why her and Rihanna are friends. They both need psychological help.