After a big mess of speculation and lies and false hope (Kanye was never even in the running, was he, you cruel dream-crushers?), the good (?) people over at American Idol have finally finalized the judges panel for the upcoming twelfth season. Are you excited? Well, try, all right?
First is dear Mariah Carey, whose spot was officially announced months ago. This one shouldn’t be a surprise, because what else does Mariah have to do these days, besides tend to dem babies? Her presence should be fun though. I think she’ll be interesting to watch.
Second is Old Faithful, Randy Jackson. He’s been there since the beginning, and he’ll be there till the end. At one point, producers wanted Enrique Iglesias instead, but in the end, they went with Randy. Which is great, because I honestly have no idea what else Randy Jackson does.
Third, and here is where it starts to get interesting, is Nicki Minaj. This decision is definitely my favorite, because Nicki is a crazy bitch, and I think it will be really funny/embarrassing to see her try to make everything all about her. Can’t you just see her going into one of her alternate personalities while some really talented kid is experiencing her one shot at fame? Ugh. Also, you know the diva antics between her and Mariah will be insane. Yeah, I’m kind of looking forward to this one.
Oh, and the fourth judge is Keith Urban. You know, because … I don’t know. Because country music. Whatever.
Are you psyched or what?
I predict this season’s American Idol will be an epic failure after the first episode or two. Nicki Minaj? Really? What “career” does she have?
I can’t stand her face! Every time I see it I want to punch it! UGH!