I don’t want to be too bold, but I’m fairly certain that I just read the greatest Kim Kardashian interview that ever lived. It has everything: Kim defends her fame, her unabashed love of money, and her wedding. Oh, and she also also compares herself to an 18-year-old with cancer. Because of course she did.
Let’s just get to the excerpts, all right?
Here’s Kim at a photo shoot: Kardashian frowns at her phone. “You guys,” she says, “what should I say? You guys?” There is a moment’s hush; Kardashian is passing a tweet.
On fame: “When I hear people say [what are you famous for?], I want to say, what are you talking about?” she says slowly, her eyes wide as a bushbaby’s. “I have a hit TV show. We’ve shot more episodes than I Love Lucy! We’ve been on the air longer than The Andy Griffith Show! I mean, these are iconic shows, so it blows my mind when people say that.”
But you’re just being filmed living your life: “But to be able to open up your life like that and to be so… if everyone could do it, everyone would. It doesn’t make sense to me.”
On selling $10 bottles of water in her store: “Our water sells out all the time,” Kardashian says. “People collect them because each store has a different picture on the bottle. It’s really crazy,” she says. “I mean, a water bottle? It’s crazy.”
On her work ethic: “I work really hard – I have seven appointments tomorrow before 10am. I’m constantly on the go. I have a successful clothing line. A fragrance. I mean, acting and singing aren’t the only ways to be talented. It’s a skill to get people to really like you for you, instead of a character written for you by somebody else.”
On talent: “What is my talent?” She cocks her head to one side. “Well, a bear can juggle and stand on a ball and he’s talented, but he’s not famous. Do you know what I mean?”
On the choice to televise her wedding: “We had done filming our season at that point, so we decided to film for the wedding. And that was a decision that he and I made together. But I think that, with any decisions in life, like, I spoke to a girl today who had cancer and we were talking about how this is such a hard thing for her, but it taught her a big lesson on who her friends are and so much about life. She’s 18. And I was like, that’s how I feel.”
On her totally real marriage: “Getting married and divorced quickly, if that was my goal the whole time – I’m not an idiot, I obviously know that that would be a bad business decision. If anything, I probably would have left sooner had I not been filming, because I didn’t want to end the relationship on TV.”
Her next wedding: “I would definitely do it differently. Just all the scrutiny that I got. You don’t plan to go through all of that willingly. For money. That’s just not what a sane person would do. So. Would I get married on TV again? No.” She thinks about it for a moment. “Well, I guess you never say never. Because who knows? So many other people I know have gotten married on TV and it has worked out amazing for them.” There is a pause. “William and Kate got married on TV,” Kardashian says thoughtfully.
I know, there are a lot of quotes, but I only used the ones that made me laugh for at least thirty seconds. Because a bear can stand on a ball and juggle, but Kim feels just like an 18-year-old cancer patient. It’s cool to sell a bottle of water for $10 because her show has aired more episodes than I Love Lucy. If they weren’t filming, she would have filed for divorce from Kris Humphries sooner, because 72 days is a super long time for a marriage. WHAT?
I usually lurk and read articles everyday, but I had to post letting you know how much I LOVED and laughed hysterically at the tag line. Seriously girl, you rock.
“What is my talent?” She cocks her head to one side. “Well, a bear can juggle and stand on a ball and he’s talented, but he’s not famous. Do you know what I mean?”
That one’s going on the wall. Like a motivational poster.
If there is ever a better example of what morons we have in our culture than the ones who watch her show(s) and buy their crap, this interview is it. She is a complete idiot who epitomizes PT Barnum’s adage – there’s a sucker born every minute.
She just insulted every one of us who have/had cancer. I had an rplnd. Translates to having ALL of your guts ripped out, put on the table, then cut out all the lymph nodes in my stomach. There is no way in hell she knows how that feels. Of course they’ve done a ton of episodes because it’s her life. I love Lucy took TALENT, and real acting. It takes time to film one show, she just does her shit. Her whole family needs to just go away
She is a moron not in a funny way to me but she does say the most inane stupid comments that do make you laugh. How she has the gall to mention her waste of air show in the same breath as Lucy or Andy Griffin or compare herself to a cancer victim, makes me sick. She has huge flights of grandeur, this plastic lady does and I wish the public would stop feeding her frenzy.
I swear I can’t choose between “but Kate and William got married on TV” and “I chose a teenager with cancer a good life lesson”. I literally was laughing all my way through the interview. Pure gold.
*taught a teenager, even. Sorry
The only way these people will go away and stop dragging our society down is if people STOP watching them and stop buying their products. PLEASE people STOP WATCHING THEM…stop watching that GOD AWFUL show!
i’ll take her divorce and she can take my cancer any day!