A puppy! No, wait, that was her creepy husband’s gift. Ooh, no, they gave her the chance to be immortalized on film forever! Shoot, no, that gift was from porn companies, far and wide. So what did Courtney‘s parents give their beautiful daughter on her 18th birthday?
A divorce! Yay!
The day after Courtney’s special day, her mom, Krista, decided it was time to make a statement about the state of her marriage. Here it is, because I know everyone cares so much:
“After being separated for a year, Alex and I are in the process of a divorce. In truth, we’ve been living separate lives for many years. It is time we both pursue our own happiness. Courtney is the most important thing to the both of us and she knows how much both her parents and her husband love her, and that’s what matters most.”
Now here’s the part I think you just might care about: do you think this divorce is happening because Courtney’s mom is so fond of literally whoring her daughter out? Because Krista here is always the one pumping Courtney up. She’s the one who said that her 16-year-old daughter didn’t need to wait for marriage, and that the 51-year-old creeper who wanted to marry her “loved her for her heart.” She’s the one who moved to L.A. to manage Courtney’s career (without her husband, natch), and who actually said that she looked up to mothers like Dina Lohan and Kris Jenner. She’s the one who participated in racy photo shoots with her 17-year-old daughter wearing stripper heels and underwear and pretending that cake icing was some other sticky white substance. And where has Courtney’s dad been? Probably huddled in a corner somewhere, trying to forget that any of this is happening. Because it’s GROSS.
But man, what a shitty birthday present, huh?
According to her Twitter she is gonna be in Playboy, but not in porn. Now I feel ashamed for following her.
“Courtney is the most important thing to the both of us” – Wow, Courtneys sisters must be so happy to hear that. What an aweful mother.
Kirsta has been cheating on Alex for some time. Alex, like Doug, also has problems with alcohol, and let’s face it, if you lived with this bat-crazy woman, you’d drink as well. She is well known in Ocean Shores as a ball-busting harridan who is nuttier than squirrel poo. She now has some new age guru type sugar daddy. Remember back at Mother’s Day, she said Courtney is helping HER to be more open sexually. Ew. Alex is back in Ocean Shores, still getting DUIs and still working for the electric company alongside Courtney’s boyfriend, the REAL dude who claimed her v-card. The boyfriend she is in contact with STILL.