Katie Holmes Means Business

I don’t know about you guys, but personally, I can’t wait for the movie version of the Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise divorce. It would be an amazing movie, wouldn’t it? It could be on Lifetime by October, and Lindsay could be the star. Amazing.

While you guys think about the casting (Snooki as Suri?), let me fill you in with some more divorce developments. A lot has happened today, so let’s just do a quick breakdown, all right?

– Katie isn’t wearing her wedding ring anymore. Expect Tom to be photographed in the coming days with no ring and yellow fingernail polish.

– Katie is still working: she filmed a guest appearance on Project Runway: All Stars today, as planned. She was said to be “engaged, articulate, and wonderful.”

– Continuing with the “taking care of business” theme, Katie has fired her bodyguard, her driver, and her publicist because they were all “too close” to Tom and it was unclear whether or not they were Scientologists. She was seen today with five or six brand new bodyguards and a brand new driver, and she rehired her old publicist that she had before she met Tom.

– Apparently Katie knew that she wanted out last year, according to the divorce papers. Tom had no idea, so I guess that means that Katie was quietly plotting her escape all this time.

– Katie wants sole custody of Suri so that Tom can’t get her started on the “Scientology indoctrination process,” which sounds super chill and not at all terrifying. She’s not thrilled with how Tom’s older kids turned out, and she wants Suri to have a normal life. Good luck, girl.