Kim Kardashian Compared Herself to Who?

Look, I know that this is the third story about Kim Kardashian that we’ve told you today. I know that, and I’m sorry. But listen … this bitch …

In a gem from her interview with Oprah that I somehow missed, she made a very educated, well-thought-out statement:

“I think if I’m 40, and I don’t have any kids,and I’m not married, I would have a baby artificially inseminated,” she said. “I would feel like Mary, like Jesus is my baby.”

Sorry, Kimmy, but I’m pretty sure that no situation that could possibly happen in reality would be capable of making you anything like the Virgin Mary. I don’t really need to explain that to you any further, do I? Because it could get embarrassing. I mean, it involves urine. Don’t make me explain that Jesus’ mom never got peed on on camera, all right?

Oh, and here’s another reason why Kim Kardashian and the Virgin Mary are different: Mary never got married while she was still sleeping with another dude, but Kim did. Yes, according to Kris Humphries, Kanye wasn’t at the wedding because he was sleeping with Kim, and, you know, awkward.

From TMZ:

Kris Humphries told his ex, Myla Sinanaj … he KNEW Kim Kardashian hooked up with Kanye West because he was mysteriously absent from the big wedding … sources close to Myla tell TMZ.

We’re told Kris groused to Myla about how Kris Jenner suspiciously referred to Kanye as “a close family friend” — someone Kim knew for a long time. Kris H told Myla, “If he was such a close family friend, why wasn’t he invited to the wedding?”

We’re told Kris confided in Myla he “felt played” by the whole thing and was genuinely devastated when news of Kim’s new relationship broke.

Our sources say Kris was with Myla the day Kanye’s song about dating Kim (and dissing Kris) was released — and Kris was “visibly upset.”

But hey, can’t wait to meet your baby Jesus, Kim!