Madonna’s Rider Is Conservative, Sensible

Oh, you guys, I’m just playing. Madonna‘s rider is absolutely not conservative or sensible. No, it’s the exact opposite of conservative and sensible, much like Madonna herself. Except not in a cool way, of course. In a ridiculously pretentious way. You’ll see what I mean.

Here’s some information about her latest rider:

She hit headlines after flashing her nipple and her bottom while performing on stage. And if reports are to be believed Madonna’s diva demands are more outrageous than her exhibitionism.  The 53-year-old singer’s rider includes all sorts of extravagant conditions as she performs her MDNA tour, according to reports.

According to In Touch magazine Madonna travels with a huge 200-person entourage and has very specific requirements to the way her dressing rooms are set up.

A source tells the magazine: “She requires all furniture be removed from the rooms and replaced with her own pieces that she has shipped in.”

It is claimed the singer demands 20 international phone lines in the room as well as special white and pink roses that must have the stems cut to six inches.

As well as all this the singer is also said to demand special fabric for her room.

A source told the Daily Star: “Madonna has probably the longest list of requirements of any of the world’s music stars. She expects things to be just right or it puts her off her stage show.”

Within the 200-strong team she is said to have 30 bodyguards, a yoga instructor as well as personal chefs and an acupuncturist.

Ugh, shut up, Madonna. “She expects things to be just right or it puts her off her stage show.” No, it does not. If someone cut the stems of her white and pink roses to seven inches instead of six, it would not affect her show. If she didn’t have roses at all, it wouldn’t affect her show. No one needs to ship special furniture around all over the world to be able to put on a concert. Just ask for some water or tea or whatever you need to get ready for your performance and do your damn job. Special pink and white roses, please.