Do you see that box that this young celebrity is carrying? Do you see that big H right on the side? That’s the Hurricane logo. If you’re not a malt liquor connoisseur, or if you don’t have a malt liquor connoisseur in your life, let me just tell you that Hurricane is a hot mess in a 40-ounce bottle. When I was in college, Hurricanes were the beverage to purchase if you wanted to get wasted without spending a lot of money (and without, you know, actually enjoying the taste of your beverage). They’re cheap, just a little over two dollars, if I recall, and they’ve got a pretty high amount of alcohol in them. I never had one or even tasted one – a bottle of Boone’s Farm is just a dollar or two more, and I’m a lightweight anyway – but just the smell of it turned my stomach.
Now that you know a little more about Hurricanes, let me tell you a little more about the girl carrying a box of twelve 40-ounce bottles of the stuff. If you take a close look at her surroundings, some of you will probably know for sure who this is. The car, the garage door, the steps: they’re all pretty familiar. But this girl in particular, she has no business carrying around a box full of malt liquor, not after what she did last weekend.
You know who it is already, right?
It’s Deena Cortese, the lovable guidette who, just last Sunday, got arrested for being too drunk in public and slapping moving cars. But hey, at least she’s carrying the 480 ounces of malt liquor inside her house, right? That’s got to count for something.
And, just because it’s Friday, here’s a special bonus for you: Deena’s mug shot:
Deena looks, as my mother would say, “tore up from the floor up.” Much like how I imagine she’ll look after a box of 40s.
Oh, Deena, you hot mess.