Remember how I just keep going on and on about Beyonce and her C-section and her pregnancy and frankly, even though it’s technically old-ass news, I just can’t seem to leave the shit alone? Well, here’s another story to add to the massive pile of “what the f-ck, Beyonce?” that we, here at Evil Beet, are in the process of creating.
As I told y’all the other day, Beyonce recently happened to mention that she lost sixty post-baby pounds in the immediate weeks following her C-section, which was this past January. She announced this business during her first post-baby show at a casino in Atlantic City, which was where the accompanying photos were taken. And that was this past weekend. And I’m not saying that Beyonce’s chunky—because she’s not. I think Beyonce’s got a beautiful, toned, enviable, kick-ass figure, and she’s not a shapeless stick. But seeing Miss Beyonce in the days leading up to her delivery, there is NO F-CKING WAY IN HELL that this woman packed on sixty pounds during her pregnancy. NOT A CHANCE. Because looking at the photo above, and the others in the gallery, Beyonce would have been MASSIVE—even bigger than Jessica Simpson was—and not that there’s anything wrong with that (you know how I feel about all that), she would have been the size of the Hindenberg in those weeks prior to her delivery. But she wasn’t. She looked like this:
And this:
Come on!
Final thought? People only just started letting this “fake Beyonce pregnancy” thing go. And then girlfriend had to open her mouth about this half-a-person weight-loss garbage. Maybe girl should keep her damn mouth shut and let sleeping dogs lie, you know?
I rest my case.
I love her, but does she think I have no eyes?
That first picture looks like she just squished that 60 lbs. into her boob and her pre-baby big(ger) ass. If she could market that trick, she could make Bill Gates look broke.
She is the mother of the a__\\ c_\~_^|
She’s ridiculous. The only place she gained weight (although I still don’t believe she actually carried the baby) was in her stomach. And unless she birthed the hulk, there’s no way.
pft. unless right before she got (sorry, if she got) pregnant she put on 60 lbs of pure muscle and then over the nine months let it turn into fat then lost 5 pounds…. I call massive bulshit.
Well, I’m the answer beings I was secretly, ahem, I’ll say it respectively, tappin’ that ass before and after the kid dropped. Yes I was. I know you find it hard to believe especially with Jay always around her but see, the reason he shadows her is because he did come close to actually seeing my peedo thrusts in action in HIS bedroom, but thankfully my slick spidy senses kicked in! As he opened the door, I shot up and stuck to the ceiling just like the Spiderman, the only difference is, I was buck naked. As the ceiling was freezing my ass cheeks, I noticed a trickle of my love potion was about to drip and homie was standing, well y’all remember “There’s Something About Mary”? He thought is was sheen! Anyway, what was the question?
People are still believing she actually carried a baby? Really? It’s not hard to look bloated. Mark Ryan, honey, I know a reLly hood shrink. Cheap too. Hit me up for the number.
Well, thanks for that offer but no reason for that because I’m circumcised although I’m quite sure beotches woulda LOVED the size of my “hood” beings it would’ve been covering this monster hog, yaknowatimesayin, Buaaa-Haaa!!!
Hahaha, Beyonce I love you girl but you gotta stop acting like you’re such a mega star you can say anything and people will buy it. 60lbs????
B*tch please!
@Sarah LoOoL you so right! Let sleeping dogs lie or is that Lie?
I hate it that celebrities try to be relatable and then come up with this kind of crap.
@Christina – the hulk part was hilarious.
I am so with you on this. I gained 60 lbs with my first kid (not proud of that!), and trust me, you don’t look like she looked. And I’m taller than her, so it’s not like I’m comparing a meatball to a taquito. I’m over this jerk and her lies. Really.
It’s all a bunch of bull, as we all know that she was never really pregnant in the first place!!!!
60 lbs, huh? 60 lbs is a little more than half of my body weight.
Granted, I’m a pretty teensy tiny person, but even if you cut me in half there’s no fucking way I’d fit onto Beyonce and have her look like that afterwards.
There’s no way she put on that kind of weight.
Oh how I would love, love, love to know all the secrets of that pregnancy/”pregnancy” …
There was no way in hell she ever gained 60 additional pounds to lose after the baby. Her body never changed except a bump. She was thicker back in her DC “Bootylicious” days. I’ve seen bigger bumps on smaller women and even they didn’t gain that much. Tell me Jessica Simpson loses 60lbs and I’ll believe it. They’re both beautiful women…but come on.
Her ass is huge