It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!
We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!
The winner on last week’s Paris Hilton photo: Johnny
“OH MY GOD … Paris Hilton’s tampon just fell out!”
First runner-up: Brittany RESS
“Paris Fucking Hilton has the precioussss. Which way to Mordor?”
Second runner-up: tritri
“OMG, Nicks here! Quick, watch me do this move I like to call the Sprinkler to get his attention! Its sooooo hot.”
Congrats to Johnny! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!
If only the voices would stop making me do such douchie things.
… I SHALL NOW DIVE BACK INTO THE TOILET AND REJUVENATE MY SCARY- TALENT WITH FOOD OF THE HOLLYWOOD ELITE ….. YUUUUM !!!!
OR ….
SEE … I LOOK LIKE MR. SPOCK !!!!
OH , SHIT …. BAD MOVE … THE BORDER PATROL IS BEAMING ME BACK TO MEXICO … AAAAAAAH
SCOTTY!@#$% YOU SKUNK … CALL MY LAWYERRRRRRRRRR…..
OR….
” HERE”S ALL YOU GOT TO DO :
STICK YOUR THUMBS IN YOUR EARS …. FLAP REAL HARD . AND YOU’RE OVER THE FENCE AND IN THE COUNTRY … OR DETENTION … DEPENDING ON YOUR LUCK … ! “
OR…
” NO ,NO … THIS IS THE SECRET HOMOSEXUAL GREETING .”
OR…
… ” HANDS UP ! . WETBACK !!!!
OR ..
TEACHER: ” GENIUS … YOU ONLY HAVE RAISE ONE HAND TO GO TO THE BATHROOM ‘
OR…
…” SEE … IN MY COUNTRY , THIS IS HOW WE GET FREE SATELLITE TV…. BUT , IT CAN BE MUCHO DANGEROUS !
ONCE , I GOT AN UGLY FEMALE FEED FROM CNN THAT GAVE ME HOMOSEXUAL THOUGHTS – CARRUMBA !
JOY! Your suggestions suck!
Actually, they suck-diddly-uck!!! And it seems Joy is secretly craving a bit of “Latino loving!” Sarah, please dont let this goon-tard win the contest
IS THAT YOU … CHAZ BONO . WOW IE
CHASTITY , DID YOU GET YOUR NEW PENIS YET , HUN ..
HEY . I GOT ONE FROM A POSSUM YOU CAN HAVE CHEAP !
Awwwww, what’s the matter Joy? Havin a little ouble-tray with your enis-pay? Your mom come in the basement and catch you whipping your skippy again? What a bag of dicks!!!
Mario: WAIT! I feel a Save By The Bell reunion is about to………..SHIT, it pulled back.
THANK YOU , JOY …YOU’RE WONDERFUL …
BUT , I REALLY HAD MY HEART SET ON ONE FROM A WOODCHUCK …
BY THE WAY , JOY . DON’T LISTEN TO THOSE LOW- LIFE FOOLS CRITICIZING YOU … THEY’RE JUST DUMB , VIOLENT , UNHAPPY AND JEALOUS LOSERS .
LOVE YOU…
ORRRRRR
Mario: Dustin Diamond said the best way to get into gay porn is to wear Mickey Mouse ears. Man I hope this’ll do!
OR…
I LEARNED THIS FROM WATCHING SQUIRRELS OUT IN FRESNO …. I’M GETTIN’ REALLY GOOD AT IT , TOO …
NEXT STEP IN MY PLAN IS TO DEVELOPE AN ALL NEW CHARACTER …. AN ILLEGAL ALIEN SQUIRREL ON THE LAMB FROM THE FEDS HAA HHAH AHH A.
I’M GONNA TRY TO SELL TO ABC – THEY’LL BUY ANY SHIT …
JOY, STOP SCREAMING INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD! WE CAN ALL HEAR IT TOO!
HEY …. ” CRABS-ON-MY-APPLE -SACK ” :
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT , MENTAL PATIENT .!@#$%^
“God, it’s slowly coming back. I remember absynthe flowing like water, Elizabeth wearing a dog collar. Dustin was there with a midget and a St. Bernard….the Dirty Sanchez… The horror, the horror……..”
WTF has happened to my gay-dar. I can’t read anyones gay fantasies about me.
If I use my sexy stare and fake the mouse ears, maybe Minnie will let me hit it…
….SHIT .. CARRUMBA .
IS THAT SHERIFF JOE , FROM ARIZONA .
I HOPE HE DOES’NT SEE ME . I HATE PINK …
I ADMIT IT , CHAZ IS MY HOMO PARTNER , AND , YES WE BOTH HAVE CRABS
God i wanna so badly do a face palm, but i cant. unless I wanna sit in the make-up chair for over night again.#:-(
OK , I ADMIT IT ME AND CHAZ HAVE THE CRABS …
GEE , OFFICER …. I DON’T HAVE I.D. … BUT , I WAS BORN IN HAWAII .. OHH YEAH .. REALLY ..
JUST AS SURE AS THAT OBAMA WAS !!!!!
YES , LEADER # 1 , I’M RECEIVING YOUR INTERGALACTIC TRANSMISSION STRONG AND CLEAR..
YES , I HAVE LANDED HERE ON PLANET EARTH … AND AS PREDICTED , IT IS INHABITED BY FOUL DUMB ANIMAL LIFE FORMS …MOSTLY 4 LEGGED ..BUT , SOME 2 LEG FORM CREATURES EXIST ,,BUT SMELL NO BETTER , AND AS DUMB AS THE QUADRAPEDS … AT LEAST , HERE IN WHAT IS CALLED: L.A. HOLLYWOOD – MUST STAND FOR: LOWFORM ANIMALS ..
YES ,COMMAND BASE SECURE , LEADER . EXCEPT THEY SUSPECT I AM AN ALIEN , BUT , STRANGLY , FROM ANOTHER PART OF THIS PLANET CALLED :MEXICO !
YES , INVASION FORCE SHOULD HAVE NO TROUBLE WITH THESE DIMWODS…
OBSERVATION SO FAR : THAT SOME OF THE 4 LEGGED CREATURES HAVE STARTED WALKING UPRIGHT … AND ARE CALLED : ACTORS !!!!
THEY , UNDERGO EXTREME SURGICAL ALTERATION TO HIDE THEIR TRUE LOWER ANIMAL IDENTITY … BIZARRE…
I THINK I AM “IN LIKE FLINT” AS LONG AS I EVADE SOME REALLY LOW DUMB ANIMALS CALLED :” BORDER PATROL ” !@#$%^
OUT.
This is just a Caption Contest right or do they want a SBTB script like this one?
Here I come
I’m comin’ to get ya
Foxy lady
You look so good
Yeah, foxy
Yeah, give us some
Foxy
Yeah, get it, babe
You make me feel like
Feel like sayin’ foxy
Foxy
DUDE, I SAID ON MY FACE NOT ALL OVER MY FAVORITE SHIRT! WHY DO YOU THINK I WAS SHIELDING MY HAIR?
MARIO: “Dude…I swear…I had my Face this far in before I FINALLY saw my watch! It was way in the back!”
“Man…that was THE SCARIEST VAGINA EVER”!
FRIEND: “So…who’s Vagina’s was it”?
Mario: “It was…”
Did he say douche or moose?