TOPLESS ADRIEN BRODY AT CANNES.

This is like my lucky day. No, f-ck “like.” This is my lucky day. The only thing that could make this day luckier is if I were on that boat in Cannes with Adrien Brody while he’s shirtless and drinking junky white wine. Seriously, no bad can happen today (knock on wood). I was making coffee in the wee hours of the morning today, really before I was even awake, and after I ground the beans, I began to empty them into the container in which I store my ground coffee. Before I put the lid on, I accidentally bumped the container with my elbow, and it would have tumbled off the counter and smashed on the ground had I not miraculously caught it with my hip (?), spilling fresh-ground coffee everywhere and showering my feet with broken-up pieces of ceramic, all of which I’m sure I would have ended up stepping on and in for the next three days no matter how well I cleaned up. What a nightmare, you know? All of that wasted coffee on top of having to pick sharp-ass pieces of glazed, kiln-fired hell from between my toes with my eyebrow tweezers for a week. Tell me the gods weren’t with me this morning, you know?

So anyway, all of this is why today is probably my lucky day. All of that and, of course, the fact that I’ve run across some pretty steamy Adrien Brody photos that depict the actor in various positions (shirt on, shirt off, smiling, not smiling, sitting, standing …), all of them laying under the warm, joyful blanket of “so f-cking hot”-ness.

Also, due to the fact that today is my lucky day and I’m totally calling the shots, we’re not even going to talk about the pug-faced “mystery blonde” that Adrien was seen being all chummy with during his stay in Cannes earlier in the week, because that’s just not the kind of stuff you talk about on lucky days, OK? We’re just going to go ahead and pretend that business never, ever happened and continue our day being completely blissed out that our bellies are filled with good coffee, our bare feet are free of bleeding cuts, and we were able to see Adrien Brody enjoying himself on a mini-break.