Which blonde bombshell celebrity is obsessed with Mitt Romney? Although she has never identified her political beliefs publicly (that we’re aware of), she apparently is in love with the candidate and told friends that if he becomes president, she someday plans on becoming his “Marilyn Monroe.”
Oh my God. Who could this be? Oh so many. What fledgling actress in Hollywood doesn’t have some weird obsession with Marilyn Monroe, jeez?
Could it be Ol’ Flop Lip? She’d definitely f-ck anything with a pulse these days, damn. Or maybe Scarlett Johansson. She definitely strikes me as someone who’d want to bed a politician, but she used to bone Sean Penn. I don’t think she’d go from Sean Penn to a Republican so fast, guys, so we can count her out. Maybe Heidi Montag? She’s about due for some cheesy-ass publicity right about now, yeah? OH! WAIT! SOLVED! COURTNEY STODDEN! SHE LOVES AMERICA AND HAS A HISTORY OF CRUSHING ON REPUBLICANS, TOO!
ACK! I SOLVED MY FIRST BLIND ITEM! CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK!