Miley Cyrus got her stitches out today, guys. Did you know that? Remember how she “cut her finger” while “cooking” with a “blender”? Yes, well today she went back to the hospital to have them take out her sutures. You’re probably wondering what the whole “Miley Cyrus is a big puss” thing is all about, and guys, don’t worry: I’m here to tell you. Miley Cyrus is a big puss because she went to the hospital to get her stitches out. I mean, who doesn’t remove their own stitches nowadays? Come on! I had a c-section nine weeks ago and I removed my own steri-strips, you know (real talk: it was awful. It was gross. It was kind of painful, and my surgeon played it off like it was no big thing).
Miley went on Twitter earlier today and let her followers know that she was on her way to the hospital to get the stitches removed and reminded us that her injury was due to a “cooking accident”:
scars remind us of where we’ve been. not where we’re going.
And now? All I can think about is that God-awful Papa Roach song, Scars. What? You have no idea what I’m on about? Well, it’s just this—and if you’ve never heard this song before, then you can thank me and hate me all in the same breath for bringing this crap into your life—OK?
Here’s the lyrics in case you couldn’t stomach the first fifteen seconds of music:
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feelDrunk and I’m feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I’m pissed cause you came around
Why don’t you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can’t help you fix yourself
You’re making me insane
All I can say isI tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you’re drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion’s in my nature
Tonight is our last standI’m drunk and I’m feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn’t ever come around
Why don’t you just go home?
Cause you’re drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn’t understand
But you didn’t understand
Go fix yourselfI can’t help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I’m sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can’t help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I’m sorry but I gotta move on with my own lifeI tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
It’s just SO MILEY, guys, isn’t it?
Honestly, if I were Miley, I probably wouldn’t do my own cooking, much less remove my own stitches. Instead, I’d wait for people to do those things for me, because I would be too busy being Miley.
(Also, much-belated congratulations on baby stuff!)
Thanks Simon! <3
“Scars remind us that it’s not a good idea to put your fingers in a blender while it’s blending.” Miley, use your blow-dryer in the shower and give us your philosophical take on that.