So, the reality is that we don’t often talk about Ashanti around here unless she’s joining the Black Eyed Peas, her tits, or … well, that’s all, but this time she’s going to make her own damned category for looking like trash on a sweltering day. In slippers.
What the hell is this, girl? It reminds me much of the time when Christina Ricci decided she’d try to pull her boobs out of a top hat while it tried to eat her clavicle, and to dredge up that kind of suppressed memory (guys, it’s a two-year-old memory), it’s got to be pretty heinous. And worse. Oh so worse.
That’s all I really had to say about Ashanti, because she’s been kind of irrelevant to me ever since that ‘What’s Luv?’ song finally died a painful, drawn-out death back in 2002 though it should have been sooner, so what I’m going to do is recap you on what girlfriend’s been up to for the sake of talking about her. It’s not very often that we do, so we may as well make an event out of it today.
And she wrote a new song, guys! It’s called ‘The Woman You Love’, and I guess that’s appropriate, since she first defined what Luv actually was, so now … never mind. The song is bad. There’s no even joking about it. It’s almost as bad as ‘What’s Luv?’, even though she can’t be blamed wholly for that. Let’s blame it on Fat Joe, if it’s still OK to call him Fat Joe. I don’t know these days, though. Here’s the song. Take a listen.
Bad, like I told you, right? And oh, dear. She’s wearing the outfit there, too. Or something like it. Is this going to be her thing, wearing weird mesh jumpsuits that don’t exactly flatter the sternum? Is she trying to be Janet Jackson meets Rihanna? Does she just miss Fat Joe? What do you think it could be, guys?
I’m not sure that metal box on the wall is up to current NEMA standards.
The slippers!! Gotta love topping an ensemble like that with slippers.
At least her face looks very pretty and she’s smiling. I gotta give it to her, she looks like a crazy Lady Gaga type here, but happy and pretty.
At first I thought its JANET JACKSON.