Guess the Celebrity Balls!

Ever wanted to know what probably *slaps Fergie in the face on the regular as she tries to be sexy and pull stunts in the bedroom? Because now you do. And I’ve gone ahead and ruined the whole “guessing” part of this game, because I’ve given it away. The exposed balls belong to Josh Duhamel, and now that they’re out there, and I’ve posted them for the world to see, I’m wondering if it violates some kind of law, because I don’t quite know how old Josh Duhamel is in that picture. He better be eighteen, that’s all I’m saying.

I’m sorry I don’t have a current photo of Josh Duhamel’s balls, but I’m not sure they’re something we’d want to see after all these years of porking Fergie, anyhow, so for the sake of playing mix and match with face and balls (his face and his balls, not her face and his balls, even though they probably don’t look that much different anyway), here’s a photo of Josh Duhamel in case the balls mesmerized you so hard that you couldn’t remember what he looked like:

Cute, right? Nah, not really. I’m not—what would you say—“into” Josh Duhamel. I don’t quite get him. I sort of think he’s a tool, and I suppose that’s probably why I went ahead and posted photos of his tiny little balls hanging out of his tiny little gym shorts, because if it were an actor I, say, respected—like Ryan Gosling—oh. Right. You’re absolutely right. I’d do it then, too.

Last, this guy is sort of universally detested in this household (OK, by me and my husband, anyway; my kids don’t know who he is and aren’t allowed to say h-a-t-e anyway) so much so that he goes by the name Josh Douche-camel. Because man. It’s so fitting in so many ways.

Nice gonads, dude.

*Do you know what we used to call that last week when we were kids? A FRAPPER. You heard it first here: a FRAPPER.