The Kids Choice Awards Happened Last Night

And really, I don’t even know where to begin. The Kids Choice Awards are always just the hottest mess of an awards show. Kids these days, right?

Since I opened up with that picture of Katy Perry, I suppose we can kick things off by talking about the fashion. Which was horrible. Well, ok, it wasn’t horrible, but there were definitely touches of awful in there. Just look at Katy Perry up there and you’ll see what I mean. I don’t have to actually break down that outfit, do I? Please. She’s wearing a fake purple and blue ponytail from Claire’s. She’s also wearing a crop top, which is apparently becoming trendy again, because Selena Gomez wore one as well. And speaking of trends I hate, Heidi Klum wore thigh high boots. Really, if you’re going to wear boots that almost hit your crotch, it needs to be Halloween, or they need to be pretty damn cute. As you can see, Heidi’s are neither. And then there’s Jada Pinkett Smith, who I don’t have any words for. Unless she let Willow style her, then there’s absolutely no excuse for that.

But it’s not all bad! Emma Stone was wearing a cute dress, and I thought Kristen Stewart looked nice. Miranda Cosgrove was there, who I love so dearly and never get the chance to discuss. Ooh, and Josh Hutcherson and Andrew Garfield! See, all is not lost!

Now let’s talk about the actual awards, all right? I’m not going to give you the full list, because I sincerely doubt many of you care about television shows like Victorious or Good Luck Charlie. But some of the awards were absolutely ridiculous, and I want to talk about it, so here’s a partial list of the nominees and winners:

Favorite Movie
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
WINNER: Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
The Muppets
The Smurfs

Favorite Movie Actor
Jim Carrey
Johnny Depp
Daniel Radcliffe
WINNER: Adam Sandler

Favorite Movie Actress
Amy Adams
WINNER: Kristen Stewart
Sofia Vergara
Emma Watson

The actress category makes me a little sad, because Emma Watson and Amy Adams were just so fabulous this past year (I love Sofia Vergara too, but I’m assuming she was in this category for The Smurfs, which I didn’t see), but I definitely get it. Those other ones though? Harry Potter and The Muppets were amazing movies that were so loved, but Alvin and the Chipmunks took it? Really? When did kids stop loving Harry Potter? I’m not sure I want to live in that world, and the same goes for a world in which Adam Sandler beats Johnny Depp and Daniel Radcliffe for an acting award.

You know what makes everything worth it though? Watching Justin Bieber get slimed. And boy, did he ever get slimed …