There’s A Warrant Out for Russell Brand

Oh God, what’s the arrest warrant for? For being too adorable while riding a bicycle and wearing a jaunty little hat? For crimes against humanity via fashion? Oh no, it’s not heroin, is it?

No, it’s none of those things. There’s a warrant out for Russell Brand because of that time he threw some dude’s phone through a window. Scandalous.

Ok, here’s the original story. See, Russell was hanging out in New Orleans, probably hooking up with ladies and doing yoga, when out popped a harmless group of paparazzi, a bunch of people who just wanted a picture. One of these dudes was a guy named Timothy Jackson, whose method of photography consisted of chilling in his car and snapping pics with his iPhone. Russell wasn’t too cool with what ol’ Timmy was doing, so he grabbed the phone and threw it, breaking a window in the process. Then Timmy called the police, and I guess Russell stormed off with his yoga mat or whatever. Scary stuff, right?

That was a few days ago. Since then, Russell has honorably stepped up and explained his actions on his Twitter:

“Since Steve Jobs died I cannot bear to see anyone use an iphone irreverently, what I did was a tribute to his memory.”

What a touching thing to do, right? Case closed! Except it’s not at all, because there’s still the matter of that pesky warrant:

Russell Brand isn’t out of the fire for tossing a paparazzo’s iPhone — New Orleans police have issued a warrant for his arrest.

New Orleans PD tells TMZ a misdemeanor warrant for simple criminal damage to property was issued tonight … following Brand’s run-in with a pap on Monday.

Brand is accused of grabbing the photog’s iPhone and hurling it through the window of a nearby law firm.

As TMZ first reported … people connected to Brand contacted the law firm and said the actor would be willing to pay for the damage to the window.

Russell is still in New Orleans filming a movie. We contacted a rep for the production … who refused to comment on the warrant.

Yeah, I don’t get this at all. I am seriously the least violent person, and I’ve never had the impulse to grab someone’s phone and throw it through a window, so I can’t really analyze this any further. I mean, earlier this week, I got super, super mad about something, which is weird in itself, because I usually don’t even get mad about things, I just get anxious or frustrated or sad. Anger is a really rare emotion for me, but oh my goodness, I was furious. I was so mad I was shaking, and you know what my first impulse was? To pet my guinea pigs and then lie down and watch a Lifetime movie. That’s all. So these people that throw phones and such, or those people who actually hit other people? That is absolute craziness to me. That’s a whole different world.

So how do you guys feel about this? Could you ever get mad enough to throw a phone hard enough to break through a window? Can you get where Russell is coming from? Do you have any good Lifetime movie recommendations?