"What are you, a lawyer?"
…is my third-favorite line from Rushmore, and I love saying it to people. If I ever said it to Nicki Minaj, though, she would probably punch me because, two things:
1) Nicki Minaj is not a lawyer.
2) Nicki Minaj totally wanted to be a lawyer.
In this month's Vogue, my favorite space alien is all greened-up like a Star Trek character, and she is freaking hot, OK.
And then there is this quote:
A huge part of me wanted to be a lawyer! I would do a really...
Does anyone remember when, a month ago, Stephen Colbert interviewed children's book author Maurice Sendak? And it was priceless?
I didn't get around to linking to Part II of the interview, because I suck, but better late than never, right? Hey! Look! There it is!
In Part II, Colbert pitches his idea for a kids' book to Sendak. The book's title? I Am a Pole. Really.
Now the American dream has become a reality! The Hollywood Reporter:
Stephen Colbert has made good on his promise to famed children's author Maurice Sendak that he would "cash in" on the wave of children's books by celebrity authors. Grand Central Books announced today that it would publish Colbert's I Am a Pole (And So Can You!) on May 8.
Colbert pitched the idea of a book about a flagpole's search for its identity during a two-part interview in late January with Sendak, author of Where the Wild Things Are. The interview became a viral sensation, and Colbert's fans pushed for an actual book.
Colbert even got Sendak to endorse the project in the announcement. The book is "terribly ordinary," Sendak says, but “the sad thing is I like it."
Colbert adds, "I hope the minutes you and your loved ones spend reading it are as fulfilling as the minutes I spent writing it.”
I am so excited! (I am also thrilled for The Colbert Report to come back on air. Godspeed, Steve!) />
Does anyone remember when, a month ago, Stephen Colbert interviewed children's book author Maurice Sendak? And it was priceless?
I didn't get around to linking to Part II of the interview, because I suck, but better late than never, right? Hey! Look! There it is!
In Part II, Colbert pitches his idea for a kids' book to Sendak. The book's title? I Am a Pole. Really.
Now the American dream has become a reality! The Hollywood Reporter:
Stephen Colbert has made good on his promise to famed children's author Maurice Sendak that he would "cash in" on the wave of children's books by cele...
Do you see that picture of Whitney Houston that I put right up there? That picture where she's happy and smiling and, you know, alive? I chose that picture because I don't think it's appropriate to showcase photos of dead people. I don't want to see a picture of a dead person when I'm checking out some celebrity gossip, and I assume that you don't either.
Here is where the National Enquirer and I disagree.
If you run out to the grocery store or wherever you browse trashy tabloids, do you k...
You guys, I am pretty sure that the dastardly minds at Vivid Entertainment don't actually film the sex scenes until after they release their porn trailers.
I am almost not joking. They film this stuff right in their offices (I like to think, anyway), then slap the trailers on YouTube to gauge audience interest. And if there is any fanfare whatsoever, they're like, screw it! Screw it, film it, ship it, we're done! Another hit in the bag!
Also, this trailer is so, so wrong. It is bad and evil and disturbing and wrong, and it's mostly safe for workplace viewing, but it will also probably ruin your life forever.
Watch at your own peril! />
You guys, I am pretty sure that the dastardly minds at Vivid Entertainment don't actually film the sex scenes until after they release their porn trailers.
I am almost not joking. They film this stuff right in their offices (I like to think, anyway), then slap the trailers on YouTube to gauge audience interest. And if there is any fanfare whatsoever, they're like, screw it! Screw it, film it, ship it, we're done! Another hit in the bag!
Also, this trailer is so, so wrong. It is bad and...
Hooray! Kourtney Kardashian is going to give birth to a little girl! Can you believe it? This newest Kardashian will be an asset to the Kardashian empire: she will inherit all. While Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney are getting too old for their shenanigans (will they ever get too old for their shenanigans though, or will we be seeing Kim famewhoring at 50?), this new generation shall rise up and bring this family to new heights. Or, wait, will people still care about the Kardashians in twenty years?...
Lindsay Lohan spent this morning performing one of her regular activities: going to court. And, just like last time, the judge told her she was doing a great job with her probation. Yawn.
From TMZ:
Lindsay Lohan just got yet another rave review from Judge Stephanie Sautnerduring her probation progress report hearing this AM -- as Sautner proudly announced, "You're in the home stretch!"
Sautner was impressed -- that for the 3rd time in a row, Lindsay completed her required community service and therapy sessions.
S...
And oh how I wish it were literally instead of figuratively. Life would be just grand. The guy in the video is CM Punk. He's actually kind of hot, he's well-spoken, and he's the reigning WWE Champion or something I think.
Here's some of the transcript for the above video, in case you can't view it:
In my world, women are to be revered and respected. And in this life, I firmly believe there are consequences and repercussions for people's actions and I don't think Chris has paid for what he's done. Picking up trash on the side of a highway does not make amends for repeatedly striking a woman in her face and sending her to a hospital. Now Chris wants to throw stones my way. And that's fine. But put some gloves on and get in the ring. I will choke you out, and I will make you feel as weak and powerless and scared and alone as any woman that has had the misfortune of knowing a sad, cowardly little boy such as yourself.
Yes, Chris indeed wants to throw stones in this guy's direction. Because he's got BIG BALLS, I'm assuming. BIG ENOUGH BALLS to beat the snot out of a woman who's stupid enough to probably say, "Tee hee, we were young and stupid, but now we're older and stupid and SEX SEX ABUSE IS HOT BUY MY NEW ALBUM."
How'd this all start, you wonder? Punk fired off a tweet on Monday night that looked something like this:
I would like @chrisbrown to fight somebody that can defend themselves.
Chris then retorted:
@CMpunk needs more followers. He's such a leader! Not to mention the roids hes on has made it utterly impossible for him pleasure a women.
@CMpunk contact my assistant and I'll have em send u an autographed pic for my biggest FAN!!!
So, classy right? Normally I'd say, "Ooh, this CM wrestler guy is really taking potshots in order to get his name in the news, 'cause I've never heard of him before," but after examining myself long and hard, guys, I've come to the conclusion that I'm completely OK with it. Potshot away, folks. Maybe we, together, can knock some sense into the repeat commenters on websites much like this one to avoid making stupid-ass quips like "Chris Brown is hawt, he can beat me any day hur duh bur duh bur." />
And oh how I wish it were literally instead of figuratively. Life would be just grand. The guy in the video is CM Punk. He's actually kind of hot, he's well-spoken, and he's the reigning WWE Champion or something I think.
Here's some of the transcript for the above video, in case you can't view it:
In my world, women are to be revered and respected. And in this life, I firmly believe there are consequences and repercussions for people's actions and I don't think Chris has paid for wh...
What were you guys doing back in back in 1999? You know, back when this video was shot. I was sixteen (not much younger than Britney herself), crushing hardcore on this dude from the swim team who already had a girlfriend, and with abs that were just as hot. What's changed in the thirteen years that's passed since? Well, I hooked up with the dude from the swim team about five years after the crush had subsided - the girlfriend was an ex-girlfriend by that point - and you know what? It wasn't as awesome as I'd always imagined. The abs stayed pretty much where they were (OK, not as great as Britney's eighteen-year-old abs, but pretty damned good abs for a twenty-eight year-old mother of one), and generally, things are super. Don't you just love those middling years and how unpredictable they can be?
What were you guys doing back in back in 1999? You know, back when this video was shot. I was sixteen (not much younger than Britney herself), crushing hardcore on this dude from the swim team who already had a girlfriend, and with abs that were just as hot. What's changed in the thirteen years that's passed since? Well, I hooked up with the dude from the swim team about five years after the crush had subsided - the girlfriend was an ex-girlfriend by that point - and you know what? It wasn't as a...
Drew Barrymore is pregnant. [The Superficial]
The Cheater Fist Pump. [Lainey Gossip]
Rihanna has 'Girls Gone Wild' bash in London. [Bossip]
Kate Beckinsale's funk face. [Starpulse]
Bam Margera was arrested during Mardi Gras. [TMZ]
Danny DeVito was at The Lorax. [The Blemish]
Jonas = dumped. [theBERRY]
'Amazing Race' facilitator found dead, poisoned. [Huff Po]
Whitney Houston's daughter was wasted at her mom's funeral. [Hollywood Dame]
Kim Kardashian wins worst personality. [Socialite Life]
Ma...
Who knew that our President was such a showman with such confident charm and swagger? Well, I did, for one. Ha! What a guy. I don't care how you feel about his policies or the things he's done (or not done), I'm strictly talking about the fact that this man's got some serious chutzpah. Or moxie. Or whatever you want to call it. It is what it is.
Last night, if you didn't know, was Blues Night at the White House, a concert featuring both Mick Jagger and B.B. King. The show will be televised on February 27th on PBS, and will also feature a few cameo performances by your very own President. Other performers included Jeff Beck, Susan Tedeschi - who I will discuss briefly in a moment - and Shemekia Copeland, who is the daughter of legendary blues guitarist and singer, Johnny Copeland. Her first album was also produced by one of my own personal favorites, Dr. John. She's cool, and you should probably check her out.
Someone else you should check out if you aren't familiar with her? Susan Tedeschi. I heard this song when I was probably thirteen and it just stuck with me so much and changed the face of my musical tastes forever (seriously; I was listening to Hanson and Britney Spears back then):
Awesome, right?
Lastly, I'm not going to go intermingling politics where I said I wouldn't (yeah, OK), but I will leave you with one final thought: see the rigmarole that the Republican Presidential candidates are going through right now? It's all a joke. None of them are going to win against Obama, and it's not because he's suave and he can sing and all that's on the Republican candidate menu are dusty, geriatric old farts who'd rather play golf with their own personal Bernie Madoffs than cut loose and have a good time - for a good cause - like a normal person might.
That's all, I promise!
The blues concert will be part of the "In Performance at the White House" series that airs on PBS. Get some! />
Who knew that our President was such a showman with such confident charm and swagger? Well, I did, for one. Ha! What a guy. I don't care how you feel about his policies or the things he's done (or not done), I'm strictly talking about the fact that this man's got some serious chutzpah. Or moxie. Or whatever you want to call it. It is what it is.
Last night, if you didn't know, was Blues Night at the White House, a concert featuring both Mick Jagger and B.B. King. The show will be televised...
Want to know why Megan Fox is one of my latest favorite ladies? Because that stupid Marilyn Monroe tattoo is getting fainter and fainter as the days go by. Seriously. It's practically almost gone. Plus, she looks so hot these days. The Botox is all but gone and her hip bones are no longer protruding like she's trying to use them as weapons to recreate some kind of weird Tomb Raider vibe.
All good news for Megan Fox and her fans, right? Well, no, not so much. Turns out that role she was goi...
OK, OK - it wasn't really *for* Jen, but she allegedly sent his Very Special Breakdancing Shoes to the set, and after Ellen approached the topic of his secret talent, he had no other option but to show both Ellen and the audience a few choice moves.
What does that mean? Well, it means that we've got Justin Theroux, multitalented dude who can dance, ride a mean motorcycle, capture the hearts of prolific women (right; that one was the easy one, really), act, and produce/direct. He can also be pretty evasive when he needs to be, and when you're dating Jennifer Aniston, I most definitely think one needs to be. Seems like such a catch, right?
I mean, aside from the whole thing about him having the poor judgement in dating a woman who makes him wear a gold ring with his own name on it, and how he unceremoniously dumped his ex-girlfriend of, like, a decadefor her, he's actually kind of cute and endearing. He does engaging interviews. Women 'woo!' for him. And finally, the pièce de résistance - he breakdances. Have you ever slept with a dude who could breakdance? If you have? Well. I think I rest my case.
Good for you, Jen. All things considered, of course. />
OK, OK - it wasn't really *for* Jen, but she allegedly sent his Very Special Breakdancing Shoes to the set, and after Ellen approached the topic of his secret talent, he had no other option but to show both Ellen and the audience a few choice moves.
What does that mean? Well, it means that we've got Justin Theroux, multitalented dude who can dance, ride a mean motorcycle, capture the hearts of prolific women (right; that one was the easy one, really), act, and produce/direct. He can also be pretty evasiv...
"What are you, a lawyer?"
…is my third-favorite line from Rushmore, and I love saying it to people. If I ever said it to Nicki Minaj, though, she would probably punch me because, two things:
1) Nicki Minaj is not a lawyer.
2) Nicki Minaj totally wanted to be a lawyer.
In this month's Vogue, my favorite space alien is all greened-up like a Star Trek character, and she is freaking hot, OK.
And then there is this quote:
A huge part of me wanted to be a lawyer! I would do a really...
Do you see that picture of Whitney Houston that I put right up there? That picture where she's happy and smiling and, you know, alive? I chose that picture because I don't think it's appropriate to showcase photos of dead people. I don't want to see a picture of a dead person when I'm checking out some celebrity gossip, and I assume that you don't either.
Here is where the National Enquirer and I disagree.
If you run out to the grocery store or wherever you browse trashy tabloids, do you k...
Hooray! Kourtney Kardashian is going to give birth to a little girl! Can you believe it? This newest Kardashian will be an asset to the Kardashian empire: she will inherit all. While Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney are getting too old for their shenanigans (will they ever get too old for their shenanigans though, or will we be seeing Kim famewhoring at 50?), this new generation shall rise up and bring this family to new heights. Or, wait, will people still care about the Kardashians in twenty years?...
Lindsay Lohan spent this morning performing one of her regular activities: going to court. And, just like last time, the judge told her she was doing a great job with her probation. Yawn.
From TMZ:
Lindsay Lohan just got yet another rave review from Judge Stephanie Sautnerduring her probation progress report hearing this AM -- as Sautner proudly announced, "You're in the home stretch!"
Sautner was impressed -- that for the 3rd time in a row, Lindsay completed her required community service and therapy sessions.
S...
What were you guys doing back in back in 1999? You know, back when this video was shot. I was sixteen (not much younger than Britney herself), crushing hardcore on this dude from the swim team who already had a girlfriend, and with abs that were just as hot. What's changed in the thirteen years that's passed since? Well, I hooked up with the dude from the swim team about five years after the crush had subsided - the girlfriend was an ex-girlfriend by that point - and you know what? It wasn't as a...
Drew Barrymore is pregnant. [The Superficial]
The Cheater Fist Pump. [Lainey Gossip]
Rihanna has 'Girls Gone Wild' bash in London. [Bossip]
Kate Beckinsale's funk face. [Starpulse]
Bam Margera was arrested during Mardi Gras. [TMZ]
Danny DeVito was at The Lorax. [The Blemish]
Jonas = dumped. [theBERRY]
'Amazing Race' facilitator found dead, poisoned. [Huff Po]
Whitney Houston's daughter was wasted at her mom's funeral. [Hollywood Dame]
Kim Kardashian wins worst personality. [Socialite Life]
Ma...
Want to know why Megan Fox is one of my latest favorite ladies? Because that stupid Marilyn Monroe tattoo is getting fainter and fainter as the days go by. Seriously. It's practically almost gone. Plus, she looks so hot these days. The Botox is all but gone and her hip bones are no longer protruding like she's trying to use them as weapons to recreate some kind of weird Tomb Raider vibe.
All good news for Megan Fox and her fans, right? Well, no, not so much. Turns out that role she was goi...