Nicki Minaj’s First Love: Lawyering

“What are you, a lawyer?”

…is my third-favorite line from Rushmore, and I love saying it to people. If I ever said it to Nicki Minaj, though, she would probably punch me because, two things:

1) Nicki Minaj is not a lawyer.
2) Nicki Minaj totally wanted to be a lawyer.

In this month’s Vogue, my favorite space alien is all greened-up like a Star Trek character, and she is freaking hot, OK.

And then there is this quote:

A huge part of me wanted to be a lawyer! I would do a really good job as a prosecutor.

When Nicki Minaj says it, man, I believe it. She is terrifying.

Like if Nicki Minaj were a Law & Order character, she would win every time. She would just strut in, put her hand on her hip, and go, “The prosecution rests, your Honor,” and everyone would be like, “We are ready to render a verdict in favor of whatever Nicki Minaj just said.”

There isn’t much to say about Minaj’s personal life—not only is this an article about highfalutin fashion, the fact is, Minaj won’t spill:

She currently lives in a condo in L.A., where she moved for the weather but also to escape “some bad memories.” Though she declines to divulge much about her personal life, she readily admits to snuggling up in hotel beds, unwinding after a performance by watching Forensic Files and Judge Judy. Minaj insists she’s terrible at small talk and never goes out much, except for the occasional foray to a favorite restaurant. “I went to Negril the other night, and I brought, like, ten of the fans who were waiting outside with me, and bought them all food!”

See, I totally admire this. I am a chronic gushy oversharer—I am beginning to think my condition can’t be helped—and I admire Minaj’s tight-lipped discipline. But she’s also one of those pop stars I know nothing about and that is fine. Like, I really don’t even want to know more than she is willing to tell, because I love her blithely and unconditionally, you guys.

(Image filched from ‘Vogue’ by way of ONTD.)