Man oh man, you guys. Normally I wouldn’t really think to tell you guys about what Cynthia Nixon is up to these days, because, come on, it’s not like it’s 2002 and everyone is creaming herself (or himself, let’s be fair) over Sex and the City. Just in case you’re curious though, Cynthia Nixon is currently preparing to star in a run of that wonderful, touching play Wit, which opens on Broadway this week. She’s also making some pretty controversial statements about her sexuality, which is what I want to focus on right now. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to go on and on about Wit, but we’re talking celebrity gossip here, not theatre. No, we can talk about theatre in the comments (hint).
Anyway, here’s some background about Cynthia Nixon. She was with a man named Danny Mozes for fifteen years. The couple had two children together before they broke up in 2003. Then, in 2004, she began dating a woman named Christina Marinoni. Those two are still together, they’re engaged, and they have a son together. Got it?
Ok, now let’s talk about this interview that Cynthia just did with the New York Times. Among other things, Cynthia commented on homosexuality, which she considers to be a choice in some cases. Here’s what she had to say about the reaction her relatonship has gotten from some people who “find her midlife switch in sexual orientation disingenuous,” ready?
“I totally reject that,” she said heatedly. “I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.” Her face was red and her arms were waving. “As you can tell,” she said, “I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”
What do you guys think about all this? Is homosexuality ever a choice, and is Cynthia hurting more than helping by suggesting that it is?
I think it just sounds like she’s a bisexual woman who CHOOSES to be in a lesbian relationship. So I guess she is choosing a woman (lesbianism) over a man this time (heterosexuality?), but she probably didn’t choose to be bisexual.
I was just about to say that. Ditto!
Exactly.
^Exactly the point I was going to make.
Maybe it was a choice for her and for some people. I also think it’s not a choice for some people and neither is being hetero. Sexuality is not something that can be defined, wrapped up in a little box with a ribbon tied around it. There is more to it than gay, straight or bi and while biology certainly has to do with it, maybe it’s not always the case. Cynthia wasn’t speaking for everyone, she was speaking to her own experience. The only thing I could see that maybe problematic to some people is that homophobes could use it as ammunition for their argument that it is a choice in all cases and that people can be cured of it or changed. I hope this doesn’t happen. I don’t really see what she is saying as very controversial. I can’t imagine how I would feel if my gender or why I fuck the people I fuck was an issue for other people.
I think she makes an excellent point, and I agree. People should get to do what they want, and they shouldn’t have to justify their past or future choices unless they want to.
She’s saying it is a choice for her. She believes that she shouldnt have to defend choosing to be gay just as a person who feels they are born gay shouldnt have to defend their choices. love is love. whether its a natural reaction or a choice, and in all reality who you love is a choice. I choose to be with my boyfriend over other men im attracted to, thats my choice in who i love. She chooses to be with her partner over everyone else she is attracted to. she isnt wrong for expressing her own views on herself and how SHE feels. no one can tell you what is the right way to feel. i dont think she is labeling or hurting the lgbt community by saying everyone is different and this is how she feels. i think it only helps by saying who cares? love is love. and love is never wrong.
I do agree that she sounds like a bisexual person who is now leaning towards being a lesbian. But I think what she is stressing is that people should have the right to choose, gay or straight, and not have to pound into the bigots heads that they were born this way, there is no way to change it, just accept us. For many people, that’s how it is. But shouldn’t we all have the right to choose who we want to be with? And not have to explain ourselves? I think that was the message she was trying to portray.
I do not believe core attraction, homosexual or hetero is a choice. That said, I do believe that Cynthia chose to act on her attraction instead of staying in a more ‘conventional’ relationship. I understood her statement in the same context of closeted male or females who maintain heterosexual relationships for whatever reason. A person is gay whether or not they act on it or openly accept it. You love the person attached to the gender. Instead of the gender itself.
It depends on how you want to define ‘homosexuality’ and ‘heterosexuality’. For me, personally, if we’re talking sheer physical attraction, I would classify myself as straight. On the other hand, I am currently dating a woman. Do I consider myself sexually attracted to women? …Not really. I’m a ‘straight’ girl who chooses to be with a woman. I think that’s where the choice comes in, maybe? We simply love who we love and I think for the most part women are more likely to swing between genders than men.
Fucking trying to stretch your own definitions of sexuality onto other people. Giggle.
She’s doing way more harm than good. Gay people have always been treated so badly and are the butt of so much violence at worst and ugly jokes at best. All this chick has done is give a brand new full clip of ammo to the homophobes…like they needed any more! It’s hard to believe that this woman is so stupid and doesn’t have a single clue as to what she’s really saying. Why couldn’t she just have said she was bisexual and leave it at that? And, to Dillon, “definitions of sexuality” isn’t the point. No one can MAKE you prefer your own sex to the opposite sex. You have to be born gay or born straight or born bisexual.
@blasted1, how can anyone say that a member of the LGBT community, speaking openly and honestly about their specific experience be detrimental to a movement? Saying that she should keep her ‘mouth shut’ or toe a party line marginalizes the movement as a whole. It’s offensive to people who came out later in life, or fell in love with a partner of the same gender. It says that they are a minority within their minority and therefore not valid. That is the same rationale that lesbians and gays have been punished with for ages.
SHE’S BISSEXUAL, IT’S A CHOICE FOR HER!!! GOD! Let it go!!!!!
She’s talking out of her arse. You don’t choose who you fall in love with, or feel attracted to. You choose being with them, which is completely different. You don’t wake up one day and choose to be gay like you choose your shoes. Sexuality is a lot more complex than just choices. Saying you can choose to be gay is only hurting the LGBTQ community, which from what I have seen has a lot of problems in the US.
Here’s my two cents worth. My therapist, who treats a lot of gay people believes that even a totally straight or gay person could, once in their life, switch for a certain, one of a kind (for the person concerned) partner on the opposite team. That would probably be Cynthia Nixon’s case. For her, it was a choice.
She also believes that you can be a 10 on the hetero and gay scale and it in can go down from that (maybe pitching for the opposite team every so often, 9-8-7, mostly sexxually I would imagine) so that if you’re at 5, you would most likely be bi-sexual.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it people.
And let me also put this out there, even though it will probably bring me some flack. Christina Marinoni is a very masculine woman. I doubt Cynthia Nixon would have fallen for a real femme type lesbian.
Three’s a charm. Nixon once referred to Marinoni as being like
“a short man with breasts.”
I feel as if Cynthia Nixon can speak for herself. As a member of the LGBTQ community, I feel that there is a push among us to pin down being gay as a genetic thing. But saying we were ‘born this way’ makes it sound like a bad thing and that if we could choose we would be any other way. I don’t think it matters whether it was a choice or not. Origins aren’t important: if you are truly an accepting person, you will accept someone no matter what the reason is they are with a same-gender partner.