Sinead O'Connor answers the door in her towel. [The Superficial]
Draco Malfoy and his girlfriend on the beach. [Lainey Gossip]
14-year-old Japanese girl covers 'Rolling in the Deep'. [Bossip]
Michael Jordan's engaged! [Starpulse]
Lindsay Lohan's going to spend the New Year in Dubai. With drugs, presumably. [Cele|bitchy]
Kelly Clarkson's big, political 'oops'. [Huff Po]
While you were out, your cats were throwing a banger. [The Frisky]
Drake's new girlfriend. [Bossip]
Bai Ling...
I shouldn't say this---I shouldn't!---but in my everyday life, I make constant, consistent jokes at Zooey Deschanel's expense.
I don't know! Recently I tripped over a toy piano and crashed into a tower of yet-unfiled CDs, and I joked I was the "Zooey of Dick Van Dykes."
Maybe I joke about her because I was a huge Matt Ward fan back in college and now I feel wistful about She and Him. Maybe it's because I am a natural blonde with dark-dyed hair who dreams of playing the uke and having great bangs. Maybe it's because I really do play a lap zither and not-on-purpose talk out the corner of my mouth. Maybe it's because I'm sort of infantilized (not in the adult-diaper way, jerks), you know, just generally and unattractively helpless when it comes to changing lightbulbs on high ceilings. This sort of thing is not totally adorable unless you are a famous actress and singer, unfortunately.
I also know that if I ever say to my friend Robyn "You're like a Zooey!" she'll start yelling in public angrily. Especially if I specify, "Your singing sounds a little like the Zooey cotton commercial." Oooh, poor Robyn. She hates when I say things like that, but for real, Robyn has great dyed-dark bangs.
Yeah, OK, I know we love Zooey around here, but it's still a lot of fun to make up Zooey Zingers, particularly when I am sitting anywhere near my friend Robyn. But why am I so mean? Why, when Zooey played one of my favorite characters in one of my favorite movies?
Anyway, this time I can't crack wise about Zooey at all. It's very frustrating. Here she is with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and they make beautiful music together. Seriously.
I mean, I want to be cruelly dismissive and apathetic; I really do want to act like quirky, winning charm has zero effect on my stone heart. It's all lies. You'll love this. />
I shouldn't say this---I shouldn't!---but in my everyday life, I make constant, consistent jokes at Zooey Deschanel's expense.
I don't know! Recently I tripped over a toy piano and crashed into a tower of yet-unfiled CDs, and I joked I was the "Zooey of Dick Van Dykes."
Maybe I joke about her because I was a huge Matt Ward fan back in college and now I feel wistful about She and Him. Maybe it's because I am a natural blonde with dark-dyed hair who dreams of playing the uke and having g...
"Sting said that [about hours of tantric sex] 21 years ago. He has just turned 60, and I imagine [the tantric story] will carry on going until he drops. Do you know who I blame for that? Bob Geldof. Him and Sting had gone to do an interview with a rock journalist, and the interview turned into a drinking session. At one point, the journalist asked how long they could go for, and Geldof said he was a three-minute man, but, as Sting did yoga, he could probably go for hours. And Sting said 'Well, ...
I think it's going to be a thing around here, maybe, right? Should we do a "Your Daily Gosling"? Does he have enough of a fanbase around here to warrant his own daily post (at least for a little while)? Because honestly, I'm kind of torn these days.
See, way back when Ryan Gosling wasn't such a thing, I was totally into him. TOTALLY. Back when he was dating a pink-haired Rachel McAdams, and back when his movie repertoire was comprised of a small role in Remember the Titans and a "real" role...
You know what they say - damned if you do, damned if you dye your hair a sort-of unflattering color, and that's where Snooki is right about now, I'd say.
See, when I think of a red-haired Snooki, I think about that drunken makeout sesh with Deena Cortese for some reason, and that reminder only ruins whatever class I think Snooki could have attained. There's just some things that you can't undo, and for me, there are definitely things that you can't unsee. That's pretty much everything Nico...
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Now, damn it, Emily, that's no Yeezy World Peace! That's Kanye West, clear as day! I was born at night, girl, but not last night! You'll have to wake up earlier in the mornin' to fool me!" And if you're thinking that, then why are you thinking in the voice that I imagine my grandmother has to take my mind off the fact that she's heaping piles of food on my dinner plate while calling me Thunder Thighs?
Either way, we're both right. That is,...
Uh-oh, everybody. Remember yesterday when I told you about how Russell Brand wanted to take his lady love, Katy Perry, home to London for the holidays? And then Katy was all "f*ck you," but Russell was all "no, f*ck YOU!" and then they spent Christmas apart? Well, things are looking worse, because, as you can see in those pictures above, both Katy and Russell aren't wearing their wedding rings.
Katy's picture came out first, and when I saw it, I didn't make too much of it. Sure, she was...
Ok, it's confession time. Today, I was doing some grocery shopping with the boyfriend (quick question: is he still my boyfriend now that we're engaged, or is he my fiancé? I mean, I know he's my fiancé, but are the words interchangeable? Is there a rule about that? I mean, I don't want to steal Kris Jenner's thunder, I just want to know what I'm supposed to put on Facebook when I finally posts the zillion pictures of him with the little guinea pig opening their Christmas presents), and we...
I never really knew this, you guys, but I've been just so pleasantly surprised these past few days to learn what a hopeless romantic that Sinead O'Connor is! First she gets married to a fella she'd only known for a couple of months because, much like Kim Kardashian, she believes in love above all else (including common sense and dignity!). Then she blogs about kissin' on her new husband's penis - how flattering! But then, as they say, all good things must come to an end, and a couple weeks...
What, you didn't know? Apparently, Seventeen has a contest going, wherein Nikki wrote a mini-story and asked the readers to finish it. Big doings, huh? Here's what Nikki penned:
It had been almost a year since we began dating, but nobody knew about us. Sometimes I would bring it up casually, but he always found a way to twist and turn his words until they morphed into a theory that seemed to make sense. He was good with his words, and I was good at coming up with reasons to believe them. Onl...
You know what I like about Steven Tyler? You hardly hear about Steven Tyler. The man has even tried to be up-front about the skeletons in his closet---he published a sex/drugs/rock and roll tell-all this summer---but there's just something about Steven Tyler that makes you go "Oh, huh, OK." Like, there is almost nothing Steven Tyler could say or do that would make you clutch your pearls or call for smelling salts or otherwise feel titillated in the slightest.
Anyway. Steven Tyler is almos...
The whole reason I ended it was out of respect and love for the man," she told the [UK Sun]. "It felt like I was living in a coffin. It was going to be a coffin for both of us and I saw him crushed."
---Sinéad O'Connor elaborates on why she filed for divorce from momentary-husband Barry Herridge.
Sinéad. I realize you're in damage-control mode. You're trying to get Barry off the hook, to let him come out of this nightmare looking blameless. That's fine; that's admirable, even. But "talking endlessly about ...
Sinead O'Connor answers the door in her towel. [The Superficial]
Draco Malfoy and his girlfriend on the beach. [Lainey Gossip]
14-year-old Japanese girl covers 'Rolling in the Deep'. [Bossip]
Michael Jordan's engaged! [Starpulse]
Lindsay Lohan's going to spend the New Year in Dubai. With drugs, presumably. [Cele|bitchy]
Kelly Clarkson's big, political 'oops'. [Huff Po]
While you were out, your cats were throwing a banger. [The Frisky]
Drake's new girlfriend. [Bossip]
Bai Ling...
"Sting said that [about hours of tantric sex] 21 years ago. He has just turned 60, and I imagine [the tantric story] will carry on going until he drops. Do you know who I blame for that? Bob Geldof. Him and Sting had gone to do an interview with a rock journalist, and the interview turned into a drinking session. At one point, the journalist asked how long they could go for, and Geldof said he was a three-minute man, but, as Sting did yoga, he could probably go for hours. And Sting said 'Well, ...
I think it's going to be a thing around here, maybe, right? Should we do a "Your Daily Gosling"? Does he have enough of a fanbase around here to warrant his own daily post (at least for a little while)? Because honestly, I'm kind of torn these days.
See, way back when Ryan Gosling wasn't such a thing, I was totally into him. TOTALLY. Back when he was dating a pink-haired Rachel McAdams, and back when his movie repertoire was comprised of a small role in Remember the Titans and a "real" role...
You know what they say - damned if you do, damned if you dye your hair a sort-of unflattering color, and that's where Snooki is right about now, I'd say.
See, when I think of a red-haired Snooki, I think about that drunken makeout sesh with Deena Cortese for some reason, and that reminder only ruins whatever class I think Snooki could have attained. There's just some things that you can't undo, and for me, there are definitely things that you can't unsee. That's pretty much everything Nico...
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Now, damn it, Emily, that's no Yeezy World Peace! That's Kanye West, clear as day! I was born at night, girl, but not last night! You'll have to wake up earlier in the mornin' to fool me!" And if you're thinking that, then why are you thinking in the voice that I imagine my grandmother has to take my mind off the fact that she's heaping piles of food on my dinner plate while calling me Thunder Thighs?
Either way, we're both right. That is,...
Uh-oh, everybody. Remember yesterday when I told you about how Russell Brand wanted to take his lady love, Katy Perry, home to London for the holidays? And then Katy was all "f*ck you," but Russell was all "no, f*ck YOU!" and then they spent Christmas apart? Well, things are looking worse, because, as you can see in those pictures above, both Katy and Russell aren't wearing their wedding rings.
Katy's picture came out first, and when I saw it, I didn't make too much of it. Sure, she was...
Ok, it's confession time. Today, I was doing some grocery shopping with the boyfriend (quick question: is he still my boyfriend now that we're engaged, or is he my fiancé? I mean, I know he's my fiancé, but are the words interchangeable? Is there a rule about that? I mean, I don't want to steal Kris Jenner's thunder, I just want to know what I'm supposed to put on Facebook when I finally posts the zillion pictures of him with the little guinea pig opening their Christmas presents), and we...
I never really knew this, you guys, but I've been just so pleasantly surprised these past few days to learn what a hopeless romantic that Sinead O'Connor is! First she gets married to a fella she'd only known for a couple of months because, much like Kim Kardashian, she believes in love above all else (including common sense and dignity!). Then she blogs about kissin' on her new husband's penis - how flattering! But then, as they say, all good things must come to an end, and a couple weeks...
What, you didn't know? Apparently, Seventeen has a contest going, wherein Nikki wrote a mini-story and asked the readers to finish it. Big doings, huh? Here's what Nikki penned:
It had been almost a year since we began dating, but nobody knew about us. Sometimes I would bring it up casually, but he always found a way to twist and turn his words until they morphed into a theory that seemed to make sense. He was good with his words, and I was good at coming up with reasons to believe them. Onl...
You know what I like about Steven Tyler? You hardly hear about Steven Tyler. The man has even tried to be up-front about the skeletons in his closet---he published a sex/drugs/rock and roll tell-all this summer---but there's just something about Steven Tyler that makes you go "Oh, huh, OK." Like, there is almost nothing Steven Tyler could say or do that would make you clutch your pearls or call for smelling salts or otherwise feel titillated in the slightest.
Anyway. Steven Tyler is almos...
The whole reason I ended it was out of respect and love for the man," she told the [UK Sun]. "It felt like I was living in a coffin. It was going to be a coffin for both of us and I saw him crushed."
---Sinéad O'Connor elaborates on why she filed for divorce from momentary-husband Barry Herridge.
Sinéad. I realize you're in damage-control mode. You're trying to get Barry off the hook, to let him come out of this nightmare looking blameless. That's fine; that's admirable, even. But "talking endlessly about ...