GO SHORTY. IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY. And you know something? The only think I probably like less in the world than you, Taylor Swift, is this song and video. It’s horrible.
But Happy Birthday. You dated Jake Gyllenhaal, and he’s hot, and I can’t take that away from you. Plus, you should have a happy birthday anyhow. GET SOME BUB. It might loosen your ass up a little bit.
