Oh man, I am too excited for this one, so let’s not waste any time with the preliminaries:
While some celebs are finally acknowledging new additions to their families, others are in denial about their parental status. Well, here’s some info about one in particular that may add some fuel to the parental fire.
Is he really the father of this baby? As a matter of fact, he might not be the father. The new mom actually did have sex with another guy the week before she had sex with the celebrity. She is “pretty sure” that the celeb is the father… but there’s a chance that it’s the other guy.
Good news, right? Not so fast. Even if the celeb is cleared as the father, he’s still in a world of trouble. Why? Because this was not the first time he’s picked up a fan and had unprotected sex with her. The story that this girl is telling is absolutely true… and there are plenty of other girls who have had a nearly-identical experience with this same celebrity.
That means that there are an awful lot of people who are going to need to get paid off so that the celebrity doesn’t come off looking bad. And, while he’s at it, perhaps he should also consider paying for their medical bills. Because while the other girls didn’t wind up pregnant, some did wind up needing prescriptions.
JUSTIN BIEBER. Can you believe it? Justin Bieber actually did knock up good ol’ Mariah Yeater, and also he has diseases of the sexual variety, and also he’s growing up into the strong young man I always knew he would be. At least, that’s what I’m choosing to believe.
You got anything else?
I never bought the goody two shoes act. He gives off the vibe of every 17 year old pretty boy out of any high school. He’s gotten every damn thing he’s wanted for years and with no boundaries how is he not supposed to become an entitled little prick? Plus the hormones at that age are off the charts….smart money says biology trumps everything at that age. Too bad about the herpes…..the gift that keeps on giving. Good thing they came up with Valtrex, Bieber Baby. (I don’t get it….the kid doesn’t look like he even has hair on his balls. There were boys in my 8th grade class with facial hair and muscles. Do we just grow them burly in the midwest? Who knows? Who cares I guess.)
“Do [we] just grow them burly in the midwest?”
YES. And thank heavens for that!
It’s Ashton Kutcher & Jnauary Jones.