Oh, Goodie: Dina Lohan Has Written a Lindsay Tell-All

The progenitors of the awfulness that is Lindsay Lohan have finally turned on their own creation, metaphorical pitchforks in hand.

Yesterday, dad Michael Lohan hopped aboard the “let’s talk about Lindsay’s need for orthodontic intervention” train by speculating, on television, that his daughter smokes crack. Michael “Mitch Winehouse” Lohan, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.

But never one to be forgotten, Celebrity Mom Dina Lohan is jumping in on the anti-Lindsay action. How, you ask? By writing a tell-all Lindsay Lohan biography!

TMZ with a selection from the unpublished book’s prologue:

I blamed her friends, her career and her handlers for an (sic) newfound lifestyle of partying excessively. Drinking, drugging and behaving irresponsibly became Lindsay’s way of daily living—and it tore me up inside.

Gee. Dina didn’t seem to have a problem with Lindsay’s “way of living” last month. Or… um, ever.

Sorry. Let me make my serious face. OK, I’m wearing my serious face now. Tell us, Dina! Who do you blame for Lindsay’s self-destructive behavior? Oh, right, her friends. And her handlers. That’s interesting.

Y’know, a lot of girls in their twenties have friends. A chance few even have handlers. But Lindsay’s pattern of “indirect” suicidal behavior is a little bit more profound. Look harder, Dina.

You know what they say: when you point your finger, three fingers point right back at you.