Oh, good ol’ Amber Portwood, that hot mess of a Teen Mom. It always seems like no matter what other trainwreck MTV has to offer, Amber always comes out on top, doesn’t it? And you might be like “no, no, Emily, didn’t you see Deena‘s ass crack?” And yes, I did, but I’m here to offer you irrefutable evidence that Amber Portwood is, in fact, MTV’s trashiest employee. I call it “irrefutable” because it comes from her own brother.
For those of you who are wondering whether or not I said everything that was in Life & Style magazine, I will tell you yes and no. Really I did not say anything that no one already knew. Second, the editor of the magazine called me and asked me to either confirm or deny what other sources were saying. Unfortunately this time I confirmed. I love Amber very much but she has changed considerably since she was “16 and Pregnant.” See, back then she was barely making a few hundred dollars a month for doing the show. She was the same person that I had always known her as growing up. As the years went by her salary gradually went up higher and higher. This is because MTV associates are a bunch of sadistic assholes who continued to lure her in with more money as an incentive to stay on the show. Over time a few hundred dollars a month turned into tens of thousands. During this time she also gradually changed. She lost her way and became someone else. She is over-dramatic and thinks of herself as an A-list celebrity. I personally believe that these little blackout spells that she has is just a cry for help and a way to go back to where everyone will do everything for her, Seasons. It makes me sick to know that so many people look up to individuals on MTV. They are/were people just like you who only got on TV to exploit themselves and act like dumb asses. Let me tell you a story about how Amber got on the show. My ex-wife tried to sign us up for a show called “Engaged and Underage.” They called me and told me that they wanted to film us. I told them that we were already married and they said, “that’s fine.” They wanted to do a special with us. Get married and then turn around and tell our families that we had been married for over four months at the time. I told them that they were not going to make a mockery out of my life. I wish Amber would have had the same mentality as me. When I deployed to Iraq in 2007 Amber found out that she was going to have a little girl. Of course, MTV called my ex and said, “hey, we are doing a show called 16 and pregnant, know anyone who would be a good candidate.” So they got Amber’s name. Had I been home I would have told her just how sadistic MTV was. When I came home on mid-tour leave I found out that she was not only pregnant but that she was also going to be on a MTV show. This made me furious because I knew it would ruin her life. Fast forward to today and we can all see that Amber is a complete train wreck. Most of you might say that it is Amber’s fault because she signed up for the show. I would agree, slightly. MTV is slowly ruining her life day by day and they do not care for one reason, ratings. Now Leah has a dysfunctional mother because she wants to live the lifestyle of the rich and famous. My last point that I wish to make is this. If you are making $15,000 plus a months then why even have a show about struggling mothers. None of them are struggling yet they are forced to say they are. This is no longer a show about how hard it is to be a mother. Instead it is a show about how one can go from being broke as hell to have a shit ton of money for simply having a kid. Now there is going to be a season 4. They are not even TEENS anymore. Call it something else like, spoiled snotty rich inconsiderate hateful bitchy mothers who make thousands for spreading their legs. End of story.
Did you get all that? The part where Amber’s brother calls her out numerous times? The part where he actually calls his sister one of a group of “spoiled snotty rich inconsiderate hateful bitchy mothers who make thousands for spreading their legs”? Because that’s some intensity there. Those aren’t words you just throw around.
So who’s the trainwreckiest MTV star now?
People I would be happy never to hear about again:
1) Courtney Stodden
2) The bitches from Teen Mom
3) LINDSAY F*CKING LOHAN