Hey, did all you readers outside the U.S. think I was talking about Pippa Middleton‘s vagina? Isn’t that great how words work?
Anyway, I’m not too sure how much you guys know about what kind of work goes into what we do over here, but for every story we write, there are probably about ten more that we read, if not more. So every single day, I go through dozens and dozens of celebrity gossip stories. Hardest life ever, right? Well, yeah, that is right, because you wouldn’t believe how many things I’ve had to read about Pippa Middleton’s ass. I’ve never told you guys anything about it, because, you know, it’s just an ass belonging to the sister-in-law of a prince, and usually Lady Gaga has something dumb to say. There’s always been something better to write about.
So why am I writing about it now? Because I have to get this off my chest, that’s why. And also because important(ish) people are calling out the legitimacy of the ass, so I’m really hoping that this will kill all the lust:
“I’m not convinced that it’s completely natural,” said London spa owner Lesley Reynolds Kahn. “Because I think, if you look at other photos of her and you see her in jeans, she’s got quite a flat bottom. “But I think possibly for the day, for that gorgeous dress, she may have had some sort of pants that gave her a little bit of a lift, or even a little bit of padding.”
We’re done now, ok, world? We’re not ever going to mention this girl’s backside ever again. It’s over. This chapter is finished, and what a thrilling chapter it was.
Are we really still talking about this? Give the woman the benefit of the doubt and move on.
WOMAN, DO YOU KNOW WHAT FANNY MEANS IN BRITISH ENGLISH? I almost died when I thought you were talking about her vagina. That said — whyyyyy is she relevant, oh whyyy? She’s not especially talented or beautiful, nor has such a great body.
when people start talking about her backside, all i can think of is “what bottom? there is none!”.