Update: Because We’ve Missed the Hutchisons

I have been so good lately. Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden keep giving incredible interviews, and I have sanctimoniously sidestepped each one. My mettle deserves a medal.

But I officially give up.

The Week in Review: After verifying that Courtney Stodden is 16 (she really, really is), Good Morning America interviewed the newlywed couple. And you didn’t hear a single peep out of me. Nope! (Even though I wanted so badly to post a link to this.)

More recently, E! interviewed Mr. and Mrs. Hutchison, whereupon Hutchison again blasted rumors that his wife has had plastic surgery (and in fact, she probably hasn’t).

In that same interview, Hutchison says that his marriage has been a boon to his career: “What’s kind of blown my mind about how this has all gone so global and viral,” he told E!, “is that I have had more opportunity now. I’ve been courted by producers, directors, agents… record executives.” Which is good news because, soon after his wedding, Hutchison was reportedly dropped by his agent (and his mom).

Then, on the Father Albert Show, Courtney Stodden gave this money quote:

When I walk by women, they call me “slut”… and you know what? It’s kind of funny, because if a women doesn’t call me that when I walk by I think I need to go home and redo my hair because I don’t look as good as I did when they call me that.

Actually, I have to be generous for a second and admit I understand what she’s getting at here, even though it’s a little mangled; Courtney has talked before about being bullied at school for being so sexxaay, and she certainly tries to take it in stride.

But then there’s Krista Stodden, who defends her daughter’s decisions with unrivaled zeal.

On others’ suspiciousness of Beautiful People:

We’ve been in this situation for a long time where good is bad and bad is good. They’ve turned it around, even in Hollywood now…. Oprah had a lot to do with this, so you don’t have to be a Barbie doll to be on TV, which is nice. But we’ve turned it around, where you get a girl like Courtney, a conservative Christian girl that still wants to be feminine—and yes, she has a sexy vibe to her. It comes from within. Marilyn Monroe had it. Hollywood hasn’t seen somebody like this for many, many years.

Mrs. Stodden adds that, because of classmates’ bullying, Courtney became isolated. So she reached out to the Internet for companionship instead. On Courtney’s e-dating:

She had a bunch of men all over the world trying to contact her through the computer. We’re talking rich, rich men. Even police officers were really wanting to get together with her. She was getting messages all the time… Professional cage fighters, even [members of a major-league baseball team], a couple of guys from the [team]. Professional baseball players—they wanted to come out and see her, and I said no.

So there you go: Doug Hutchison was the noblest, most stand-up guy in young Courtney’s Internet dating pool.