Image courtesy NBC Chicago
Entertainment Weekly demands to know, “Why, Rob Lowe? Why?!” and I can only echo this headline’s horror.
In mid-June I warned you that hot, hot Rob Lowe had been cast as then-55-year-old wife-killer Drew Peterson, who is comparatively, unsexily swollen. (I also accurately anticipated what Rob Lowe might look like in the role, and it wasn’t pretty.)
And here he is now, in 9 hours’ makeup, for his part in the upcoming made-for-TV movie Untouchable. Oh, my beloved Rob Lowe! Why? Why are you denigrating your own talent and good looks—especially your good looks—for Lifetime? Yes, Lifetime.
I said it in June, but I must reiterate: I cannot understand why they cast anybody but Dennis Farina as this mustachioed Chicagoland villain. AM I THE ONLY SANE PERSON LEFT?
Not a bad resemblance, but Lowe should have hit up Krispy Kreme everyday for about a month beforehand so he could acquire the double chin, as well.
I’m just here making a little magic.
What is Rob Lowe’s destiny? A flaccid penis with a scrotal hydrocele complicated by an inflamed prolapsed rectum. He is a dirty old bugger. He is perfect for the part of Drew Peterson.