Sean Penn Dumped Scarlett Johansson Because She Was Annoying, Pushy

But blamed it on the fact that he doesn’t want to “get serious right now.”

OK, first, Sean, you’re BUMPING SIXTY. Let’s not play all coy like you’re thirty or something and you’re this smoking hot eternal bachelor. You probably WANT to settle down again. You’re probably LOOKING for that special woman who’ll sit near you while you cough up old-man-spittle into a hankie (giving it a good peek first) who won’t cringe. You’re going to need someone to help you get undressed as you deteriorate, and I can understand that you don’t want it to be Scarlett. She’s young, she’s virile, it’s embarrassing to a certain extent.  But don’t pretend that the reason you kicked her ass to the curb is because you just don’t want to get serious: let’s be real, here. You just don’t want to get serious with her.

Sources are also saying that Scarlett still refuses to make herself scarce, and doesn’t want to let go of Sean and his big dong name:

Despite rumors of a break-up, the pair seemed to be doing just fine at their June 4th appearance at Spike TV’s Guys Choice Awards – On June 4, the Avengers star didn’t seem ready to give up on their unlikely romance. At Spike TV’s Guys Choice Awards in L.A., she scrambled for face time with the Oscar winner. “She pushed herself into his conversations,” a witness tells Us. “She sat down between him [Penn] and Robert De Niro. Robert was like ‘What?’ and made a face.”

Further showing her desire to make things look all-good with the duo, a source dished that the 25-year-old was eager to step in front of the cameras, explaining, “A photographer asked for a shot. Before Sean could say no, she said yes.”

So, there you have it.  It’s the classic story: girl is hot, girl wants more fame, girl seeks out biggest actor with the most longevity that she possibly can to ride for a few months, then gets all upset when biggest actor with the most longevity breaks it off ’cause she’s a clingy freak.  You see it all the time, guys.