This post was going to be about Snooki and how her dumb orange ass was arrested for hitting a police car in Italy because she was too busy picking at her lesions or whatever, but after I wrote a paragraph about it, I decided that Tori Spelling doing absolutely nothing on a beach would be a better topic for today. And that, my friends? Is a fine example of just how important Nicole Polizzi is to me.
Anyway, as you can see, mom-to-be-again Tori Spelling hit the beach with her growing family, and I have to say: girlfriend looks GOOD when she’s expecting. I know it probably has a lot to do with hormones and what not, but her body just looks healthy now, not all dry and shrivelly.
In fact, I was so inspired by these Tori photos that I decided to suit up and head outside myself. It’s a gorgeous day, so I’m writing to you poolside. BE JEALOUS.
What are YOU guys doing on this fine, sunshiny day?
Why the long face, Tori! Wi-i-i-i-i-illll burrrrr!