I LOVE awards shows. I just love them. All of the bitchfaces, the tears, the drama, the attire. I feel like I’m back in high school again, only the students have a lot more tit, ass, and Botox going on. (Well. Depending on where you went to school, I guess. ) And again, similarly to those school days, the only thing better than said awards shows is often photos the after party. You can’t go wrong. There’s always a good vibe flowing when there’s a promised party afterwards. No one goes to these trumped-up shows and says, ‘Damn, there’s an after party later on. What bullshit.’ And best of all? Unlike high school, there’re no totally outraged moms and dads appalled at the photographic evidence thereafter. See? BRILLIANT.
Awards shows = the massive convergence of stars from all walks of life. Whether it’s to sign cars, mug for the cameras, or for D-list movie stars to pitch ideas to drunk producers for the Next Big Epic Movie, these people come out of the woodwork to booze and schmooze (see what I did there?).Best moment of the night? ADRIEN BRODY. Funniest? Hayden Panettiere’s extremely visible nipple pasties. Seriously. Like the ‘Where’s-fucking-Waldo?’ of nipples, find the picture and check out the heinousness. Worst moment of the night, guys? … Guys? A really greasy-looking Paris Hilton was there. And for the life of me, I cannot figure out why. Who invited this girl? She actually has friends on the inside?
