Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Natalie Portman’s Will All But Retire Post-Baby

Natalie Portman was asked about her baby plans at the No Strings Attached premiere in LA this week and while she said she has nothing mapped out for the baby’s arrival yet (“I’m very Jewish that way. We don’t do that,” she said), it does sound like she has one thing nailed down: To disappear for a hot minute once that thing comes sliding out of her vadge hole.

Natalie said, “I’ll be out of the public eye after [the baby’s born],” later adding that she’ll take any future career moves “as they come.”

Frankly, I don’t think this could be better timing. I’m on Portman overload after hearing every day for the past three months about how her alarming crash diet disguised as acting ability may actually land her an Oscar for Black Swan.

Natalie is fine for the most part. Her Letterman interviews have always been delightful and I appreciate any actress who goes above and beyond to educate herself, but in terms of her actual acting ability? I don’t think homegirl has ever exactly blown me away, but she’s definitely annoyed me on occasion.

All of this Black Swan hype has just rubbed in the fact that I generally don’t “get” Ms. Portman, so I’m really glad her co-star knocked her up, agreed to marry her and will ultimately drag her off to some cave for a handful of years where I don’t have to see or hear from either one of them.

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